After Ged Galvin's recent car crash, a medical team took a muscle from above his knee, wrapped it around his
sphincter, and then attached electrodes to the nerves. He now presses a remote control to open his bowels and go to the
toilet.

It works great except when his neighbor activates the garage door opener, he shits his pants. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: Weird
Keywords: colostomy shit
Added: Tue, 17 Nov 2009

Sarah Palin’s book “Going Rogue” is set to hit the bookstores next Tuesday which means by next Wednesday I will be able to see it filling the dumpsters from my house. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: Political
Keywords: palin
Added: Fri, 13 Nov 2009

At the cost of millions of dollars, NASA has found water on the moon. At the cost of 86 cents, I found water at Ralphs. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: News
Keywords: nasa water
Added: Fri, 13 Nov 2009

Claude Levi-Strauss, eminent anthropologist, has died at the age 100. I wondered how he would be remembered until I went to the mall and seen all the teenagers with their jeans at half-staff. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: News
Keywords: jeans levi dead
Added: Wed, 4 Nov 2009

A man caught having sex with a horse in a South Carolina stable has been sentenced to three years in prison. I don't know who to feel sorry for, the horse or his new cell mate? [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: Weird
Keywords: horse sex
Added: Wed, 4 Nov 2009

Officials say that NASA's rocket strike on moon worked, that is of course if their mission was to blow 79 million dollars for no reason. Next up, a billion dollar probe to Uranus.


  [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: News
Keywords: moon
Added: Fri, 9 Oct 2009

Lucy Vodden, who provided the inspiration for the Beatle's classic song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" has died.
Although Jai Antwang, the japanese porn star is still living large after being the inspiration for the hit "Yellow Submarine". [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: beatles porn lucy lsd
Added: Mon, 28 Sep 2009

Actress Mackenzie Phillips reveals she had a long-term incestuous relationship with her famous father, musician John Phillips.
While she openly admits to that in her new book, she vehemently denies any responsibilty for his choice of hats. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: mamas papas incest
Added: Wed, 23 Sep 2009

A legally insane killer was on the loose in the state of Washington
today, two days after he escaped during a field trip to a county fair.
At what point did the state say "Listen up nutbags, who wants funnel cake".
And just think if he was "illegally" insane, he may have applied for a job there. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: News
Keywords: escape killer prisoner
Added: Sat, 19 Sep 2009

The 72 year run of the soap opera "Guiding Light" is coming to a close this Friday.
Writers have disclosed the reason for the shows ending was because everyone has slept with everyone else. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: guiding light soap opera
Added: Thu, 17 Sep 2009

The FBI is investigating as a possible hate crime incident in which
a black woman was beaten to the ground by a white man at the entrance to the Cracker Barrel restaurant in Morrow, Georgia.
Who would have guessed that a place called the "Cracker" Barrel would be ground zero for any kind of racial attacks. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: News
Keywords: cracker racist beating
Added: Thu, 17 Sep 2009

Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay was injured while rehearsing for ABC's "Dancing With the Stars."
Apparently, he can only do the two-step after an indictment. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: Political
Keywords: delay dancing stars
Added: Wed, 16 Sep 2009

Less than a day after Rep. Joe Wilson formally apologized to President
Obama over his "you lie" outburst, the
South Carolina Republican has raised "more than $200,000".
Now we only need about 449 thousand more outbursts and this 90 billion dollar health care plan is paid for. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: Political
Keywords: congress joe wilson health care
Added: Fri, 11 Sep 2009

The San Mateo County morgue was evacuated Thursday after a body undergoing an autopsy began to release a strong chemical odor.
It was discovered that earlier in the morning, the patient had ingested a bunch of sour grapes from Rush Limbaugh. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: Political
Keywords: limbaugh death rush odor
Added: Fri, 11 Sep 2009

A cheetah from the Cincinnati Zoo became the world's fastest land mammal Wednesday by doing the 100 meter dash in a record 6.13 seconds.
Also a record, the zookeeper, the late Elmer Scattle did it in 6.14 seconds. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: News
Keywords: cheetah record speed death
Added: Wed, 9 Sep 2009