President Obama's decision to scrap former President George W. Bush's plans for a missile defense shield in Eastern Europe came under harsh criticism from some members of Congress who, invoking Cold War memories, warned that the move would "empower" Russia. Apparently, President Obama never saw the movie “Red Dawn.”

If President Obama's health care plan goes through, this country could face a shortage of doctors and would have to add another 40,000 just to keep up with the demand. The good news, fewer lawyers.

David Hasselhoff, otherwise known as the Hoff, was taken by ambulance to the hospital last week after suffering from alcohol poisoning. Apparently, he's been boozing a lot recently because America has talent and he doesn't.

An umpire at a high school game in Iowa ejected over 100 fans from the stands after they became rude and unruly. The game was delayed for nearly 45 minutes as each fan took turns kicking dirt on the umpire as they left.

A Cape Cod man was arrested yesterday after repeatedly trying to look into a public restroom. Three years ago he was arrested for the same thing outside a local strip club. Authorities are trying to figure out if he is a pervert or just really cheap.

Ham radio operators and amateur astronomers spent the weekend bouncing radio conversations off the moon to one another to celebrate the 40^th anniversary of the Apollo moon landings. Coincidentally, 40 marks the number of years these guys have spent without the tender touch of a woman.

Venice, Italy.- Following in her father's footsteps, 23 year old Giorgia Boscolo became the first female ever to pass the grueling test to become a gondolier. She's admittedly always been in love with gondolas and one day hopes to marry a woman, just like her dad.

Fairbanks, Alaska.- Department of Fish and Game has put a halt to King Salmon fishing because of the low population reported by biologists that have been counting them for the past seven years. The count is so low, they've begun naming them.

To the members of the U.S Soccer team, blowing a 2 goal lead to world powerhouse Brazil was a huge disappointment and very sad. To the rest of the country, not so much.

The three story Tudor house where the Allman Brothers band was founded and where they lived is set to open as a museum this December. Visitors will be able to see Duane Allman's bedroom the way it was decorated, photos of the band and Gregg's collection of Cher's underwear.