Military sources today confirmed passing on the oppurtunity to kill 190 insurgents gathered in a cemetery mourning the passing of one of their fallen comrades.  An unnamed general confirmed that we could have taken out the entire  group with one unmanned predator missile and no risk of suffering any casualities of our own.  His explanation was simply that killing an entire group in a cemetery wouldn't be nice.  The time savings alone would cause Taliban grave diggers economic hardship and or unemployment.  He then went on to explain that  we already had troops in the area that we have invested millions of dollars in training and supplying, training and supplying that creates jobs in this country.  Stating that " our boys actually prefer plinking those dirty bastards one by one ", he  pointed out the benefit to our own economy to drawing out the war as long as possible.  Additionally, aborting a bombing in a cemetery would spare the the difficult task of explaining just how we dropped 1 bomb on 190 insurgents and recovered 500 bodies and counting.

some call it dating...some call it hooking up...I call it "messin with sasquatch."..

Went out to dinner friday night with one of those famous E-Harmony matches.  E-Harmony..is it just me or does that founder look like Don Knotts?  Anyway...I'm gonna have to send Barney Fife a thank you card for hookin me up.   Started out well...conversation flowed..candles flickered...playing a little kissy face stuff...then we started talking about sex. Talked about remembering the first time.   She told me she became a woman in college at 22.  I told it was cool that she was a virgin for 21 years...she laughed...told me she was a man for 21 years.   Check please!

Went out again Saturday night...Match.com suggested her.  I asked her right up front if she'd ever been a guy.  All went well until we went back to the my house.  I was giving her the tour and one thing lead to another.  I kissed her enough to not want her to go...but...she softly protested.  Told me it wasn't a good idea...bad timing...    " Menstrual cycle?", I asked...."  nope...herpes flare-up".

welcome to my life...

I've tried all different tactics to quit smoking.  I used to smoke about 2 packs a day.  I would smoke when I first I got up..before breakfast...on the john...after meals...after sex... I always smoked when I was out drinking because the two went hand in hand.  First I tried drinking without smoking...quit cold turkey..lasted for about 1 day.  Next I tried smoking without drinking...quit Wild Turkey...lasted about 1 day too.  Now I'm trying to only smoke when I drink which isn't working too well either to be honest.  I'm doing shots first thing in the morning..before breakfast...on the john...after meals...after sex...

Have you ever noticed that most of the women whose profiles stress their need for honesty in a relationship are the same women who post pictures of what they used to look like...years ago...dress sizes ago...hair colors ago...before they had the surgery.  I had a date last week with a girl that looked like Cameron Diaz in her profile photos...in person she looked like a 500 pound version of Alice Cooper with boobs.  She looked smokin hot on the net...then she asked me what I thought when I met her in person.   I said, " when did you stop smokin' ." 

The advertisement grabbed my attention right away, Cialis...works for 36 hours and let's you choose the moment.  Then I began to wonder...am I supposed to choose the moment first or choose my date first?    Is it multiple choice?  Will it be an extremely hard choice?  How will my crotch feel knowing that the decision making has been taken away from him and is now in the hands of my Cialis influenced brain? If my date doesn't agree with my choice..am I allowed to phone a friend?  I put these questions to the test last weekend.  I walked up to a woman in the club....radiating my chemically enhanced confidence...and asked her straight up..."  ever made it with a guy who can go for 36 hours?"  I had her attention  and we went back to my place.My Cialis coated brain and I decided on a 2 hour marathon of wild passionate sex....2 minutes into it my crotch lead the mutiny and decided it was close enough.   Next time...I'm gonna read the fine print on the box.