UN Ambassador John Bolton is resigning.  Bolton will join the road production of “The Teddy Roosevelt Story” as Wilfred Brimley’s understudy.

Jay Leno is making news by suing an author for reprinting his jokes. Ironically, a small town newspaper placed the story under a picture of a cow named Michael Jackson being milked to death.

"A cow named Michael Jackson? Does it moo walk?" - Jay Leno

The lead singer of the children's group The Wiggles announced he will stop performing after being diagnosed with a chronic condition that causes dizziness, fatigue and nausea. The condition, Yokoonoitis, is caused by singing lead for the Wiggles.

The CEO of Google told Republicans today that the Internet is the key to winning the '08 election. President Bush was elated, stating, "lots of Republicans use the Google on the internets."

NOTE : To get the full inmpact of this bit go to Google.com, type in the word "FAILURE" and hit the I'm Feeling Lucky button.

Tracy gets another DWI and I get to show off my elbow rubbing.

A wreath shaped like a peace sign is satanic according to some Denver residents. "We also believe christmas trees are nests for Keebler elves."

Comedian Paul Mooney has vowed to bury the N-Word. His act will now be filled with moments of silence.

Ford Motor Co. has borrowed 18 billion dollars to help turn the company around. The funds will be used to develop a new hybrid SUV called the Ford ReFi.

Have you ever noticed that when you get your civil rigthts violated by the LAPD you get a beating while someone is video taping, whereas when you get your civil rights violated by the NYPD you just get shot dead?

What's up with that?

Season 7 now available on DVD.

A cartoonist entered the offices of the Miami Herald today with an automatic weapon and forced the evacuation of the building. He explained that he wanted to show his new boss he not only knew how to draw a gun but also how to bust a cap in his ass.