1. Winston Churchill: 'Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a  cow pasture.'
 
2. Jack Benny: 'Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice  round of golf, and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.'
 
3. Lee Trevino: 'You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask  my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.'
 
4. Unknown: 'Golf is not a game; it's bondage. It was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins.'
 
5. Hank Aaron: 'It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.'
 
6. Lee Trevino: ' Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.'
 
7. Lee Trevino: 'I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.'
 
8. Sam Snead: 'These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.'
 
9. Paul Harvey: 'Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore,' shoot six, and write down five.'
 
10. Tommy Bolt, about the tempers of modern players: 'They throw their clubs backwards, and that's wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have to walk any extra distance to get it.'
 
11. Tommy Bolt: 'Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.'
 
12. Jack Lemmon: 'If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.'
 
14. Lee Trevino: 'If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.'
 
15. Unknown: 'Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour.'
 
16. John Updike: 'Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.'
 
17. 'Silk Stockings' TV Show: 'The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it  music.'
 
18. Gerald Ford: 'I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and  a moose.'
 
19. P.G. Wodehouse: 'The least thing upsets him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows.'
 
20. Bob Hope: 'If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let Him.'
 
21. Ken Harrelson: 'In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base.'
 
22. Chi Chi Rodriguez: 'The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.'
 
23. Chi Chi Rodriguez: 'After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.'
 
24. Tommy Bolt, toward the end of one of his infamous high-volume, temperamental, club-throwing rounds, asked his caddie for a club recommendation for a shot of about 155 yards.  His caddie said, 'I'd say either a 3-iron or a wedge, sir.'


'A 3-iron or a wedge?' asked Bolt. 'What kind of stupid choice is that?'   
'Those are the only two clubs you have left, sir,' said the caddie. [more]

Author: Steve S
Category: Sports
Keywords: golf
Added: Sun, 5 Oct 2008

A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

"Ten years!", he says.

She reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes.

He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag, and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"

Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"

He replies, "Ten years!"

She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and gives it to him.

He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!"

Then she starts unzipping a longer zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?"

And the man replies, "Wow! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there!" [more]

Author: Steve S
Category: Blogs
Keywords: golf deserted island
Added: Fri, 11 Jul 2008

[more]

Author: Steve S
Category: Sports
Keywords:
Added: Sun, 3 Feb 2008

[more]

Author: Steve S
Category: Sports
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 1 Feb 2008

[more]

Author: Steve S
Category: Sports
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 1 Feb 2008

[more]

Author: Steve S
Category: Sports
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 1 Feb 2008

[more]

Author: Steve S
Category: Sports
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 1 Feb 2008

To one-up the Sentra Commercials, Joey attempts to spend 14 days in his Civic. [more]

Author: Steve S
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: one-up sentra commercials joey attempts spend 14 days his civic.
Added: Wed, 11 Apr 2007

[more]

Author: Steve S
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: 405 jumbo jet
Added: Fri, 30 Mar 2007

[more]

Author: Steve S
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: harry met sally
Added: Sun, 18 Mar 2007

The computer message that tells you when you've been online way too long. [more]

Author: Steve S
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: internet
Added: Thu, 15 Mar 2007

[more]

Author: Steve S
Category: Weird
Keywords: tractor vw
Added: Sat, 10 Mar 2007

[more]

Author: Steve S
Category: Weird
Keywords: taser bear
Added: Fri, 9 Mar 2007

[more]

Author: Steve S
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: randy mountz ad sales
Added: Wed, 28 Feb 2007

[more]

Author: Steve S
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 22 Feb 2007