A Florida hunter shot a deer possessing both male and female sex organs.

So now when you hear the joke "this deer went into town and blew a few bucks" you knew he/she was working both sides of the street. [more]

Author: Stan Silliman
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 1 Feb 2007

Relief pitcher J.J. Putz signs big contract with Seattle. Special clause in the 98 mph fastballer's contract: Be in a market where they don't speak Yiddish. [more]

Author: Stan Silliman
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 19 Jan 2007

Italian soccer player Marco Borriello tested postive for steroids. Instead of accepting his ban meekly, Marco claimed he unknowingly ingested the drug because his supermodel girlfriend - Belen Rodriquez - had used a steroidic yeast infection vaginal cream. Back in the states Barry Bonds slapped his oversized head, muttering "Why didn't I think of that?" Some of us are hoping the case goes to court so Borriello's attorney can say to the judge just as Rodgriquez walks in "I give you exhibit # 1" [more]

Author: Stan Silliman
Category: Sports
Keywords: steroids yeast infection soccer excuses
Added: Fri, 19 Jan 2007

In Ripon California, pastor Randall Radic sold his church building to a couple for an office buiding. After pocketing the $ 525,000, he neglected to tell his congregation about the sale. In other local news, they're changing the name of the town to "Ripoff." [more]

Author: Stan Silliman
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 11 Jan 2007

A Colorado Springs boy's basketball coach has been accused of striking his players in the groin, showing them pornography and pouring water on them during the winter. The coach answers that the "striking groin" accusation is not a foul because he got "all ball." According to Colorado law, hitting a man in the groin and showing them pornography carries a different penalty depending on which is done first.   [more]

Author: Stan Silliman
Category: Sports
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 11 Jan 2007

[more]

Author: Stan Silliman
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 11 Jan 2007

Chicago Bear tackle "Tank" Johnson arrested and charged for possessing six firearms in his house. The arresting officer said "Tank" didn't have proper I.D. to possess these guns. By proper I.D. then, I guess it would be okay if he owned a tank??? [more]

Author: Stan Silliman
Category: Sports
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 15 Dec 2006

I'm not lying...in Wichita, Kansas a dealer tries to sell $ 1000 of marijuanafrom his home when a thief pulls a gun and steals it. So the dealer calls 911, reports the theft Drug sniffing dog shows up at the door... with a copThe guy REPEATS the story... all the way to jail"Bastard pulls a gun... stole my weedI can describe him!!"   This story probably deserved a joke but...you hate to spoil the authenticity     [more]

Author: Stan Silliman
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 15 Dec 2006

The world's oldest woman - Lizzie Bolden - dies in Memphis at age 116. OJ Simpson rushes in to give eulogy.Says those acquitted of double sharp instrument murders need to stick together.   Later, someone whispered to Simpson that he was thinking of "Borden" not "Bolden" to which Simpson said "Oh my gosh, but at least Chicago forgave her cow."     [more]

Author: Stan Silliman
Category: Sports
Keywords:
Added: Tue, 12 Dec 2006

Vegas taking odds on how soon this headline appears again. [more]

Author: Stan Silliman
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Tue, 12 Dec 2006

Claimed he was not dying just before he died.Could not close casket ... nose was too long. Comedian tries this joke... gets Chile reception   [more]

Author: Stan Silliman
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Tue, 12 Dec 2006

Defence Secretary nominee Dr. Robert Gates has admitted to posting on Texas Aggie sports websites under the codename -Ranger65. And no one was the wiser. The man spent years in the C.I.A. so it's not difficult to determine where he honed this stealthy talent: The Svetlena Fanboard - "Svetlena! You are the rage this year. When Valentino put you in silk wrap in Milan I almost died. Died I tell you. I can't wait for your New York show. Oh, by the way, I understand your boyfriend Boris came back from Bulgaria. He didn't mention he was carrying a package, did he? signed "Vants to be Svetlena" [more]

Author: Stan Silliman
Category: Sports
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 8 Dec 2006

In Pennsylvania, Jeff Green in a wheelchair robs Jesse McKinney after Jesse leaves the bank in his wheelchair. A wheelchair chase ensued afterwhich Green was arrested. The only witness to the crime was this guy... watching from his rear window: of course the person requested to gather evidence was this guy: afterwhich Mr. Green was put on trial and racked over the coals by this guy: whereupon Mr. Green was so battered he arose from his chair, admitted he had been committing comp fraud all this time and then bolted from the court where he was confronted by this guy:  who explained to him that crimes against wheeelchair users are so heinous that for a brief moment in time due to a space/time warp a witness, a detective and a lawyer can all come back to torture you even though they've been dead for a decade. [more]

Author: Stan Silliman
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 7 Dec 2006

"Okay listen up, turkey. Don't be nervous because I'm going to pardon you. Now, remember, how do you repay me?" [more]

Author: Stan Silliman
Category: News
Keywords: bush pardons turkey thanksgiving day pardon
Added: Mon, 20 Nov 2006

Caption Contest: If this scene went Gilbert & Sullivan: Starts with palsied kid singing: "I'm a palsied kid at a tabletrying to eat a turkeyBut really I'm unableRight here in AlbuquerqueFor my hands are so unstableand my mind's a little murkeyToo bad it's not beef jerky" The Chorus: "Too bad it's not beef jerkytoo bad it's not beef jerkyHe's from AlbuquerqueIn New Mex-i-co, New Mex-i-cotrying to eat a turkeyBut he's just too herky-jerkyYes, he cannot eat a turkey'cause he's just too herky-jerky" And then, as with all good Gilbert & Sullivan, the bananas in the background start dancing and singing: "We're a bunch of bananas from ParaguayThey said "Come to America" we said "No way!"But here we are and we must sayYou better eat us now or we turning blackAnd once we do, we never get out credit backYou better eat us now or we turning blackAnd once we do, we never get our credit back" [more]

Author: Stan Silliman
Category: News
Keywords: caption contest turkey
Added: Mon, 20 Nov 2006