It's too bad father Joe didn't knock some common sense into little Michael when he had the chance.

Ironically, he passed away quietly.

To resolve the issues surrounding Michael's death, Jackson family members have offered to testify at the coroner's inquest. But the judge ruled it wouldn't be germane.

 The media is labeling the Swine Flu a "pandemic" because a handful of tourists returned from Mexico with a fever, vomiting, diarrhea.

Doesn't everybody come home from Mexico with a fever, vomiting, and diarrhea?

It was an old, exploding ball of gas that was once a star.

In March, sales of existing homes spiked 5%.

Sales of non-existing homes remained flat. 

Arriving to the Inaugural in a wheelchair, outgoing Vice President Dick Cheney proved once and for all he is not The Simpson's Mr. Burns, but rather Mr. Potter from "It's A Wonderful Life."

President Barack Obama has been so successful invoking the spirit of Abraham Lincoln that today South Carolina seceeded from the Union.