HBO has begun marketing its new shows with the slogan "We're Just Getting Started." This won out of the more blunt but less popular choice, "Please don't cancel us now that the Sopranos is over." [more]

Author: Rye Silverman
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: hbo sopranos
Added: Sat, 16 Jun 2007

West Virgina Public Schools will use the video game Dance Dance Revolution as part of a new system to fight teen obesity after studies revealed the game helped kids maintain their weight. Officials hope the new program will be more effective than the previous attempt to integrate video games into the classroom, the failed "Learning about Italian Plumbing with the Mario Brothers" course is still a subject of controversy amongst the state's teachers. [more]

Author: Rye Silverman
Category: Weird
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 2 Feb 2007

Senator John Kerry announced today that he will not attempt a campaign for president in 2008. The Massachusetts senator made a public statement that he felt his time would be better spent in the senate, working towards a resolution to the Iraq problem, and heading the new senate committee on his own impending irrelevance. [more]

Author: Rye Silverman
Category: Political
Keywords:
Added: Wed, 24 Jan 2007

Workers across New York City were concerned today as a strange gas-like odor filled the air. A statement by the mayor's office attributed the odor to a gas leak in Chelsea, however, many anticipate an additonal statement by Donald Trump attributing it to Rosie O'Donnell. [more]

Author: Rye Silverman
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Mon, 8 Jan 2007

Paris Hilton will no longer be associated with Club Paris nightclubs, according to the venues' owner, Fred Khalilian. The club name will now refer to the French capital instead of the One Night in Paris star, whom Khalilian described as having "created a circus for herself. It's all about, how has she screwed up now?" Khalilian went on to say "I regret seeing this change in her. I pine for the days when she was famous for her amazing philanthropic endevours and not her new image as an exhibitionist, spoiled, rich, slut." [more]

Author: Rye Silverman
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: paris hilton
Added: Fri, 5 Jan 2007

In a 25-24 vote, Trent Lott has been selected as the new Senate Minority Leader. Lott is returning to GOP leadership after having been removed as Majority Leader four years ago for racially insensitive statements. As a representative of a minority, Lott says he is fully prepared to protest any future insensitive comments he may make. Spokesmen for the caucus of Republican senators also issued a statement that by re-electing Lott, they are excited to send a message to the voters that they have learned absolutely nothing from the results of the recent midterm elections and are prepared to continue the course of action that has clearly worked out well for them and their party. [more]

Author: Rye Silverman
Category: Political
Keywords:
Added: Wed, 15 Nov 2006

Sources from Paramount pictures have reportedly offered Brad Pitt a total of $39 Million to replace Tom Cruise in it's Mission Impossible franchise. Paramount severed it's relationship with Cruise last month. Viacom Cheif Sumner Redstone blamed the decision on the decline in box office for Cruise's films, which he claimed was a result of a declining public image based on the actor's personal life. This makes Brad Pitt a perfect choice to replace him, because his personal life has never been publicized in any way. [more]

Author: Rye Silverman
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 21 Sep 2006

Columbus, OH - Local personality Rye Silverman has gone on record as saying that events at a recent wedding reception did not enhance his enjoyment of the evening. Silverman reports that while already feeling the intense stress brought on by being one of few "single" people at said event, the news that he was also starting to develop thinning hair on the back of his head could have been presented to him at a different time, preferably while he was not chatting up one of the single females, and preferably not being pointed out to him by his mother, also in attendance. Silverman's mother could not be reached in time to comment on this story. [more]

Author: Rye Silverman
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Mon, 18 Sep 2006

Prosecutors abruptly dropped all charges against John Mark Karr in the slaying of JonBenet Ramsey. Charges were dropped both on account of a total lack of evidence and with alibi's provided by Karr's brother and ex-wife. Karr immediatley headed to the local watering hole, excited to use his new pickup line "You ever rape and murder a 6 year old girl? Me either, wanna screw?" [more]

Author: Rye Silverman
Category: News
Keywords: karr ramsey jonbenet
Added: Mon, 28 Aug 2006

In an interview for Entertainment Weekly, Actress Winona Ryder addressed rumors of a sequel to one of her most remembered films, "Heathers." Ryder acknowledged that Christian Slater has agreed to make a cameo in the sequel. Ryder did not comment on whether his role was only a cameo due to his otherwise overwhelming schedule. A rep for the sequel's producers did suggest to Daily Comedy that negotiations had been tough between themselves and Slater's shift supervisor at Chipotle. In addition, Ryder neither confirmed or denied the film's reported working title, "Heathers on a Plane." [more]

Author: Rye Silverman
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Mon, 28 Aug 2006

Weeks after Mel Gibson's arrest and alleged anti-semetic tirade, local movie fan Josh Rosenberg still admits to enjoying the actor/director's body of work. "I mean yeah, at first it was like, screw that guy, but then I was stoned and watching TNT and Payback came on and I was like... oh hell yeah. I mean it sucks that he hates my people and all, but did you see when he drops that cigarette and blows up the car? dude..." [more]

Author: Rye Silverman
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: mel gibson
Added: Fri, 25 Aug 2006

Suspect arrested in JonBenet Ramsey Murder case. "Figured it was about time we got around to that," Boulder Police said in an issue statement. [more]

Author: Rye Silverman
Category: News
Keywords: ramsey
Added: Wed, 16 Aug 2006

Bush declares victory for Israel over Hezbollah, thus ensuring that the war will only get worse. [more]

Author: Rye Silverman
Category: News
Keywords: bush hezbollah israel.
Added: Tue, 15 Aug 2006