An Illinois couple bought their young daughter a Microsoft Zune media player from Wal-Mart. The gadget, they said, came preloaded with raunchy pornography. But when they went back to Wal-Mart to complain, the store manager blamed the situation on Microsoft. The couple disagreed, saying “there was nothing micro or soft about it.”

The president of the Miss Universe Organization said Miss USA Tara Conner will not be dethroned. They released a statement saying "The Organization and Mr. Donald J. Trump will be evaluating her behavioral and personal issues”...

And by “evaluating” Trump means, repeating the bathing suit portion of the contest. And by “personal”, he means; in his personal suite at The Trump Hotel.

Space shuttle Discovery docked at the International Space Station on Monday, bearing a crew of astronaut-electricians that will rewire its power system.

Of course, this will cost triple in overtime & will take longer because of  mandatory  coffee breaks .

Bulimics are thanking Britney Spears for giving them a legitimate reason to vomit.

Education Secretary Margaret Spellings says she studied hard to prepare for her appearance on Celebrity Jeopardy! She came in second stating her excuses for not winning, “I didn't realize how much skill went into hitting the buzzer at just the right moment. I often hit it too early and didn't get picked to tackle a catagory."

"And the dog ate my homework."

The latest advance in bomb-sniffing technology relies on simple devices - honeybees.

"Honeybees are as good as dogs," entomologist Timothy Haartmann of Los Alamos (N.M.) National Laboratory says. "The trick, it turns out, is training the little critters to detect bomb scents...

and getting them to fetch a pair of slippers.