A couple were arrested for trying to sell their infant at a car wash.

Apparently there is a market for “That New Baby Smell”. [more]

Author: Rob Cioffi
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Mon, 24 Dec 2007

Afghan President Hamid Karzai mocked the Taliban as a group of defeated cowards who are in endgame mode.

Karzai then said, "Although, I will admit they are freakin' great at hide and seek." [more]

Author: Rob Cioffi
Category: News
Keywords: bush
Added: Mon, 6 Aug 2007

Elle magazine reports that Lindsay Lohan was adamant about never drinking and driving during an interview the day before her 1st DUI.

"I would not do that." she said.

Other things Lindsay thought she would not do:


Piss off Jane Fonda and, by extension, Vietnam.

Herbie Fully Loaded (while, ironically, being fully loaded).

Fez from That 70's Show. [more]

Author: Rob Cioffi
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: lohan celeb pop tart
Added: Sat, 4 Aug 2007

"Does this alcohol monitor make me look fat?" [more]

Author: Rob Cioffi
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Wed, 1 Aug 2007

It was revealed today that some space shuttle crews were drunk during takeoff.

NASA immediately announced that all astronauts will now be called cosmonauts. [more]

Author: Rob Cioffi
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 27 Jul 2007

When receiving a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame actor Matt Damon reacted with disbelief.

So did everyone else. [more]

Author: Rob Cioffi
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 26 Jul 2007

English judges and barristers will no longer wear powdered wigs while in court.

However, English bobbies will continue chase bad guys in stop motion to the theme from Benny Hill. [more]

Author: Rob Cioffi
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 13 Jul 2007

Britney Spears issued an apology stating her umbrella attack on a paparazzi's car was part of her being caught up in a character for a movie audition.

She was trying out for the lead in the new Oliver Stone film Mary's Poppin' X. [more]

Author: Rob Cioffi
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: spears drugs killers
Added: Fri, 6 Jul 2007

A surprising new study says women don't talk more than men. Scientist account for this by the male's use of a repetitive pattern of speech called 'patronizing parrot'.

They found 70% of all men's utterances are "Yes dear. You are absolutely right about [FILL IN BLANK]. Let me write that down." [more]

Author: Rob Cioffi
Category: News
Keywords: sexist pig joke im sorry
Added: Fri, 6 Jul 2007

A motorcyclist riding on the interstate had an accident with a bathtub.

The biker tried to avoid the tub but it was surrounded by a barber shop, a Banana Republic outlet and an employment office. [more]

Author: Rob Cioffi
Category: Weird
Keywords: biker motorcycle wild willy parsons
Added: Tue, 10 Apr 2007

A flight with 180 passengers was cancelled due to the pilot's uncontrolled cursing.

Afterwards the embarassed aviator explained, "I can't say for sure, but I'd bet that this has everything to do with those last two shots of Jagermeister." [more]

Author: Rob Cioffi
Category: News
Keywords: pilot curse swear trip travel sex
Added: Sat, 7 Apr 2007

...from the DailyComedy.com Dictionary:

f-fluent - adjective

1. stand-up comedy style where the comic has no real comedy material.

2. quality possesed by characters in movies by Martin Scorcese.

3. skilled at spewing obcenities e.g. "The Vice-President's opinion was f-fluent." [more]

Author: Rob Cioffi
Category: Weird
Keywords: movie sopranos hack comedian
Added: Fri, 30 Mar 2007

Police found 93 pounds of women's panties in a burgurlar's home. The evidence filled five garbage bags.

They immediately contacted Rosie O'Donnell to see if she was missing 5 pairs of panties. [more]

Author: Rob Cioffi
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Tue, 27 Mar 2007

Houdini's nephew believes his uncle was poisoned.

One of his last tricks was called "The Vanishing Can of Dog Food." [more]

Author: Rob Cioffi
Category: News
Keywords: magic news poison dog cat
Added: Sun, 25 Mar 2007

Harvard dropout Bill Gates has been asked to give this year's commencement address.

He plans to hold a solid gold spatula as he gives a speech entitled "Do You Want Fries With That Gulfstream-V?" [more]

Author: Rob Cioffi
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 23 Mar 2007