The Energizer Bunny will be driving a Toyota Prius! 

 The French have unveiled their latest weapon in the battle against sexually transmitted diseases: a 120-foot flying condom....... Should we tell France that AIDS ISN'T AN AIRBORNE DISEASE!

Hans Kurt Kubus, 58, who stuffed 44 small lizards into his underwear before trying to board a flight has been sentenced to prison will spend 14 weeks behind bars and must pay a $3,540 fine..... WOW! So much for saving money switching to Geico! 

The death of 'Poltergeist' Star Zelda Rubinstein was anounced on television today......... by Zelda herself to my little girl, Carol Anne.

A man was pulled from rubble in Haiti's capital on Tuesday, two weeks after a 7.0-magnitude earthquake leveled much of the city, officials said.....

......Wow! How does David Blaine do it?

Great news for the University of Tennessee Football program! Lane Kiffin is leaving for USC!

 .....in other related news "University of South Carolina Gamecock fans were excited to hear the news Lane Kiffin was leaving Tennessee to coach USC, until they found out it was the "good" USC.

Mark McGuire admits to using steroids while chasing the home run record set by Roger Maris.

.............In related news, Tiger Woods admited to using Viagra while chasing Wilt Chamberlain's sex with 20,000 women record!

 For being the Greatest Pro Golfer in the world, Tiger Woods sure did drive his balls into the bush more than most.

....Its nice to know the Bash Brothers are finally sticking together! 

.....Cuban refugees were skating back to Cuba!