This past Election Day, as usual, I didn’t vote. Voting isn’t a system that works.  The majority of people are idiots, and in voting, the majority of people are right.  Politicians learn early on that they have to lie, make false promises, and hide their real agendas to get the majority of voters, who don’t know what they are talking about, to vote them into office.  I don’t really blame them, as that is the position they are put in to succeed.  It just makes it impossible to tell who’s corrupt, and who’s trying to help.  They all have to lie to some extent.  If the good one’s don’t lie, they’ll lose to the bad one’s who do because people are voting based on campaign promises that sound good.  If a politician stood there and was realistic with everyone about what they think could be done, he wouldn’t sound very exciting. When have we had a candidate that came anywhere close to delivering what they promised in their campaign?  Has that ever happened? Take Obama for example, the whole time he was campaigning, he didn’t even know the details of the job he was applying for.  They don’t give you the top secret briefing till after you are elected.
“Oh, remember all those things you promised in your campaign.... Well, there are a few things we should probably fill you in on.  Number 1, we’re dead broke.  Our credit score is horrible, and we’re not even getting low interest balance transfer offers from France anymore.  Oh, and we haven’t been getting a lot done lately cause everyone’s out sick with some weird flu”
If a corporation was run by a president that was elected by all it’s employee’s, that corporation would go out of business. Employees don’t know company secrets or what it takes to make the real money.  The majority of people walking into a voting both simply don’t know what they are talking about.  I myself am no political genius and by my own guidelines am not qualified to vote.  Voting is a nice fairytale, and at the same time, I don’t have a better solution to offer.  I do think and hope that we have enough checks and balances to keep us out of any real disasters, but I’m starting to have my doubts. [more]

Author: Ricardo Aleman
Category: Political
Keywords: election
Added: Wed, 4 Nov 2009

When I say to people that it's a little early to give Obama a Nobel Peace prize.  Some argue that he's done a lot more for peace in 8 months than Bush did in 8 years.
I would like to point out that George Bush should be in jail, and not simply overlooked for a peace prize.  Yes, Obama is a better president, but it's only been 8 months folks! I give him an incomplete.... I would give him "World Leader of the Month" for some months, but Nobel is jumping the gun.     [more]

Author: Ricardo Aleman
Category: Political
Keywords: obama bush nobel
Added: Fri, 9 Oct 2009

I'm pro Obama, but so far it seems a little early to be giving him something like this.  It seems he won based on good intentions, or maybe they are forced to grade on a curve these days...
"Well a C+ was the highest grade in the class, so Obama, congratulations, you win!"  [more]

Author: Ricardo Aleman
Category: Political
Keywords: obama nobel peace
Added: Fri, 9 Oct 2009

I was talking to my friend Jessica last night, and she was saying how she rarely drinks, and has never done drugs.  Growing up she saw the effects of drugs and alcohol on her parents, and that's why she's mostly straight edge.
I learned a similar lesson with my mom's addictions.  Growing up she would do an enormous amount of cleaning only to have me mess up the house again. So as an adult bachelor I'm pretty straight edged about not cleaning... I'm just going to mess it up again.  That's called foresight and good time management.  [more]

Author: Ricardo Aleman
Category: Blogs
Keywords: parents drugs alcohol
Added: Thu, 1 Oct 2009

That's why I went to college.... so I wouldn't have to get a job right away.  Sometimes I get up at 8am to pee, and I look out my window and see all these people dressed and showered and I think "How do they do it?"  [more]

Author: Ricardo Aleman
Category: Blogs
Keywords: work
Added: Tue, 29 Sep 2009

Happy hour saves you money, but at the same time you are also drunk earlier.  So as long as you are comfortable with not accomplishing anything after 5pm, you can enjoy life at half price.  [more]

Author: Ricardo Aleman
Category: Blogs
Keywords: bar
Added: Tue, 29 Sep 2009

My mom is not too good with technology.  I helped her set up an outgoing message on her cell phone voicemail.  The only problem is that when you have an outgoing message like, "Hi, you've reached Maria, please leave a message"... it gives people the impression that my mom knows how to check her voicemail messages. [more]

Author: Ricardo Aleman
Category: Blogs
Keywords: cell phone mother
Added: Tue, 29 Sep 2009

That guy is raking in the money.  Remember all those test in school that required a number 2 pencil?  That's what drove the guys that made the number 1 and number 3 pencils out of business.  You don’t see those pencils anywhere.  Makes you wonder if the number 2 pencil guy had a friend at the test printing place.  [more]

Author: Ricardo Aleman
Category: Blogs
Keywords: pencils tests school
Added: Tue, 18 Aug 2009

The light was green, cars are moving, and he decides to cross the street right in front of me!  I started to yell at him about looking at the green light, but then I realized that there is no point yelling at a homeless man about making bad decisions.    [more]

Author: Ricardo Aleman
Category: Blogs
Keywords: car homless
Added: Wed, 12 Aug 2009

What's going on with movie making these days? Does everything need to be computer generated?  Look... I understand that if you need to put a dinosaur in there that a guy in a Barney suit isn’t going to cut it.  But do we really need to computer generate motorcycle stunts?  Are you doing this to save money or something? ‘cause back in the 80’s the A-Team did that for real every week and made it look quite affordable. [more]

Author: Ricardo Aleman
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: gi joe movies
Added: Tue, 11 Aug 2009

Via Cosmo Confessions 
"My roommate can be really mean, and one day, her bad attitude got on my last nerve. So when a guy she had been lusting over -- who had recently become single -- stopped by, I hatched a plan to get even. She let him in, then went upstairs to primp. I decided to introduce myself and told him to be careful because my roomie has a revolving door to her bedroom and is on quite a few meds for STDs. That was the last time he came over, and she couldn't figure out what happened." -Jojo, 22
Oh Jojo! Tisk Tisk... What did we accomplish here, really? If your room mate was being a bitch, well then it sounds like she really needed to get laid.  And what did you do?  Prevent the one thing that might have made her simmer down, and make your life easier.  If she became bitchier after that, then you can only blame yourself. [more]

Author: Ricardo Aleman
Category: Blogs
Keywords: cosmo std
Added: Tue, 11 Aug 2009

Doctors have now discovered that Billy had cocaine in his system when he passed away.  That explains every single infomercial I've seen him in.      [more]

Author: Ricardo Aleman
Category: News
Keywords: billy mays
Added: Fri, 7 Aug 2009

Professor Gates! Please read my story and help! I'm a victim too!
I came home the other day and discovered I was locked out. So me and my Russian limo driver kicked the door in, and then a so called neighbor, who was clearly racist, called the cops on me because I’m Mexican.
When a Chinese police officer showed up outside my house and asked if I could come outside to talk with him I said, “NO I will not!! I'll talk to your mommi outside!”
I demanded to know who he was and he said he’s a sergeant or something investigating a break in and I said, “Why?!?! Cause I’m a Mexican Man in America?!!” 
He asked if I was alone, I told him “None of your Business, you racist cop! You don’t know who you’re messing with! I have a Masters Degree in Computer Science and I can make it so none of the Chinese food places in town can take orders over the internet!!! Don’t mess with me!” 
He kept going on and on about how he was just trying to investigate a possible break in, and just wanted to see my ID, so I threw my library card at him.  He stood there in shock, and I said “What?!!  Surprised to find out a Mexican man reads books, you racist pig!!!” and then I said, “You're racist because you see a nice house with a plasma TV and a PlayStation 3 and assume that a Mexican man cant possibly live here!!!” 
Then I called everyone I know to stand out there and watch as I walked outside my house and made a fool of this idiot with some of my other assumptions.  Anyway, cut to scene two, I got arrested because I’m Mexican.
Professor Gates, do you think you could help?  I tried emailing President Obama to see if he could do something, but he hasn’t gotten back to me.  I also emailed Batman, the incredible Hulk, the Green Lantern, and Spider-Man... all of which just sent back the standard fan club welcome letter which makes me think they haven’t really read my message at all!!! Is there no Justice in America!!!
RE: Gates' Police Report [more]

Author: Ricardo Aleman
Category: News
Keywords: professor gates henry gates
Added: Mon, 27 Jul 2009

The police were responding to a break-in in progress, and when they ask this so called racism expert for ID, he gives them a hard time and calls it racism.   So let me get this straight.  You want the police to treat an unidentified break-in suspect with respect and courtesy... Yeah.. that’s gonna work real well.
“Excuse me, we don’t mean to intrude, but we see the door is broken in... do you live here? Oh you do... ok... have good night”
First of all, let’s consider that most break-ins reported are real and dangerous.  I’m gonna estimate that at least 9 out of 10 times, the guy breaking into your place isn’t you.
On top of that, this isn’t the first break-in at the Professor’s home.  I think it’s hysterical when people say, “If he was white, this wouldn’t have happened that way”
Well, I’m white (sort of) and if the police thought my apartment was being broken into, I would obey all their commands, gladly show them my ID, and thank them for coming.  So it would have gone differently for me... not because of my color... but because I’m not an idiot.  If police ask you for your ID and you put up a fight and call them names, don’t expect to be treated with honor.
One last thing, Don’t apply to Harvard.  They let anybody teach there.
Oh and PS: Me calling him an idiot isn’t racism. Idiots come in all colors.  I have a white one that lives in my building.
Read the Police Report  [more]

Author: Ricardo Aleman
Category: News
Keywords: henrey gates police cops arrest
Added: Sat, 25 Jul 2009

I was watching the finale of "16 and Pregnant" on MTV last night where all the 16 year old parents came back on the show so Dr. Drew can ask them why they didn't use protection.  And the answers were just hysterical. 
One kid said, "It just feels sooo much better without the condom..." 
Another couple said, "We were using protection.... in the beginning... but then we stopped"
And another one goes, "I don't know... we just weren't using it..."
Am I the only one who listened in sex ed class?  I just turned 32 this year and my mom said to me, "You know Rick, when I was your age I was already married with two kids"
And I said, "Yeah! I dodged that bullet! I am soo proud of myself for making it this far with out knocking anyone up... pat myself on the back for that one"
I have a dog that's litter boxed trained... that's about as much responsibility as I can handle. [more]

Author: Ricardo Aleman
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: teen pregnancy mtv birth control
Added: Fri, 24 Jul 2009