The WNBA's New York Liberty won their final contest of the season, beating the Washington Mystics at Madison Square Garden 86-65.
The game marks the first time the Liberty scored more points than the number of fans in attendance.
  [more]

Author: Ray Ellin
Category: Sports
Keywords: wnba new york liberty washington
Added: Mon, 14 Sep 2009

(Quips made right after Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech on MTV's video music awards)
 
Kanye West has won! Douche of the decade! Congrats!
 
I just re-watched that Kanye clip. Seriously, he is a complete piece of shit. I wish Beyonce had gone on stage, told him that Ray Ellin said that, and then congratulated Taylor Swift. I hope Al Sharpton comes out and speaks on Taylor's behalf.
(mid-show)
This just in - President Obama has offered to step in and make peace between Kanye West and Taylor Swift... over a glass of milk - -- (she's only 19)
This just in - Serena Williams cursed out Kanye West. (for those of you who watched the US Open).
Meanwhile, I don't even CARE about this crap... but I truly find the lack of social graces fascinating... let's all cheer the 'Love for Michael Jackson,' but... act like scumbags to your colleagues who are alive lol
(after Beyonce gave Taylor Swift her award speech time)
Beyonce. Well done! Actually would have paid to see Kanye run out AGAIN in the middle of Taylor Swift's second speech.  [more]

Author: Ray Ellin
Category: Blogs
Keywords: beyonce taylor swift kanye west vma mtv
Added: Mon, 14 Sep 2009

Matt Damon had to gain 30 pounds to play the part of  bipolar whistle-blower Mark Whitacre in the upcoming dark comedy "The Informant!," which is based on the 2000 book of the same name.
Next up, Damon will begin production of "The Bourne Obesity."
  [more]

Author: Ray Ellin
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: matt damon bourne
Added: Wed, 19 Aug 2009

After President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was announced as victor of Iran's election, protesters hurled stones.

Including this man, who also happened to be the winner of Iran's annual "Throw like a girl while holding a briefcase" competition.
Photo: Olivier Laban-Mattei/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images [more]

Author: Ray Ellin
Category: Political
Keywords: mahmoud ahmadinejad iran election
Added: Mon, 15 Jun 2009

On Wednesday the U.S. accused nuclear threat North Korea of "provocative and belligerent" behavior... the same thing that got my high school gym teacher fired.  [more]

Author: Ray Ellin
Category: Political
Keywords: north korea nuke nuclear gym class teacher
Added: Wed, 27 May 2009

Former Major League star and professional dope Pete Rose, banned from baseball for betting on the game, professed that if he could, he would vote steroid users Alex Rodriguez and Manny Ramirez into the Baseball Hall of Fame.

In other news, restaurateur Mario Batali said he would vote Jeffrey Dahmer into the Chef Hall of Fame. [more]

Author: Ray Ellin
Category: Sports
Keywords: pete rose baseball alex manny steroids arod dahmer
Added: Mon, 18 May 2009

17-year-old
Tyler Frost, a senior at a fundamentalist Baptist high school in Ohio that
forbids dancing, rock music, hand-holding and kissing, will be suspended
if he takes his girlfriend to HER public high school prom, said his
principal Tim England.
Apparently England would rather Frost stay at home - where he can smoke weed while listening to Metallica, masturbate to a Kim Kardashian video, or get lucky and sleep with his girlfriend, who won't be attending the dance without him.
Now that I think about it, why did I go to MY prom? 400 bucks for a buffet and Journey. And of course, post-prom masturbation.
 
  [more]

Author: Ray Ellin
Category: News
Keywords: prom baptist catholic high school
Added: Sat, 9 May 2009

Celebutard newlyweds Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are honeymooning in Mexico this week, despite the outbreak of the swine flu.
 
I would rather honeymoon on the floor of the bathroom at the Port Authority bus terminal. In August. With no AC.


In other moron news, an orthodox Jewish family from New York has decided to time travel to 1939 Poland. 

 
 
  [more]

Author: Ray Ellin
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: swine flu heidi montag spencer pratt honeymoon marriage
Added: Wed, 29 Apr 2009

Mel Gibson is getting divorced, and claimed "irreconcilable differences" as the reason.
His wife filed for a slightly different reason; "irreconcilable d-bag." [more]

Author: Ray Ellin
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: mel gibson
Added: Fri, 24 Apr 2009

Mel Gibson and his soon to be ex-wife will be splitting up $900 million in assets, including a number of insanely expensive estates.
 The "regular" estates will go to his former wife. The "No Jews allowed" estates will be kept by Mel.
 
  [more]

Author: Ray Ellin
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: mel gibson
Added: Fri, 24 Apr 2009

President Barack Obama has met top credit card executives and vowed to
introduce reforms to purge their industry of "abusive" rate hikes and
fees and to restore strong protections for consumers. He also expressed concern over young consumers being targeted by credit card companies.
Perennial scumbag American Express responded by mailing Obama's daughters pre-approved no limit Optima cards, with cashback rewards for school supplies and candy. [more]

Author: Ray Ellin
Category: Political
Keywords: obama credit cards amercian express
Added: Fri, 24 Apr 2009

Madonna bought a home in NYC for $40 million dollars. Apparently the house shakes when the subway rolls by - people inside the mansion can feel the vibrations from the trains.
EXACTLY why she paid so much for the house. [more]

Author: Ray Ellin
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: madonna real estate subway
Added: Wed, 15 Apr 2009

  [more]

Author: Ray Ellin
Category: News
Keywords: fxo news heaven bailout ray ellin
Added: Sun, 5 Apr 2009

It was reported that Nadya Suleman, aka "The OctoMom," had a short-lived career as a stripper.
She quit the business after customers complained about "her creepy eight nipples."
  [more]

Author: Ray Ellin
Category: News
Keywords: octomom octuplets nadya suleman stripper strip club
Added: Sat, 28 Mar 2009

After months of denying to be the father of Nadya Suleman's aka "OctoMom's" eight children, Turkey Baster, of Fullerton, California, has decided to step up and contribute to the kids' well-being by marrying Suleman.

"I take care of my kids," said Baster, a 28-year-old meat tenderizer. "I have the means to feed them, bathe them... anything involving liquid. I want to be there for them, whether it be helping them remove a wart... or putting some eye drops in their eyes."
Baster was previously accused of fathering Clay Aiken's child, but paternity tests proved that he was not the baster, just a fan. [more]

Author: Ray Ellin
Category: News
Keywords: octomom octuplets nadya suleman turkey baster clay aiken
Added: Sat, 28 Mar 2009