The WNBA's New York Liberty won their final contest of the season, beating the Washington Mystics at Madison Square Garden 86-65.

The game marks the first time the Liberty scored more points than the number of fans in attendance.

(Quips made right after Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech on MTV's video music awards)
 
Kanye West has won! Douche of the decade! Congrats!
 
I just re-watched that Kanye clip. Seriously, he is a complete piece of shit. I wish Beyonce had gone on stage, told him that Ray Ellin said that, and then congratulated Taylor Swift. I hope Al Sharpton comes out and speaks on Taylor's behalf.

(mid-show)

This just in - President Obama has offered to step in and make peace between Kanye West and Taylor Swift... over a glass of milk - -- (she's only 19)

This just in - Serena Williams cursed out Kanye West. (for those of you who watched the US Open).
Meanwhile, I don't even CARE about this crap... but I truly find the lack of social graces fascinating... let's all cheer the 'Love for Michael Jackson,' but... act like scumbags to your colleagues who are alive lol

(after Beyonce gave Taylor Swift her award speech time)

Beyonce. Well done! Actually would have paid to see Kanye run out AGAIN in the middle of Taylor Swift's second speech. 

Matt Damon had to gain 30 pounds to play the part of  bipolar whistle-blower Mark Whitacre in the upcoming dark comedy "The Informant!," which is based on the 2000 book of the same name.

Next up, Damon will begin production of "The Bourne Obesity."

After President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was announced as victor of Iran's election, protesters hurled stones.

Including this man, who also happened to be the winner of Iran's annual "Throw like a girl while holding a briefcase" competition.

Photo: Olivier Laban-Mattei/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images

On Wednesday the U.S. accused nuclear threat North Korea of "provocative and belligerent" behavior... the same thing that got my high school gym teacher fired. 

17-year-old Tyler Frost, a senior at a fundamentalist Baptist high school in Ohio that forbids dancing, rock music, hand-holding and kissing, will be suspended if he takes his girlfriend to HER public high school prom, said his principal Tim England.

Apparently England would rather Frost stay at home - where he can smoke weed while listening to Metallica, masturbate to a Kim Kardashian video, or get lucky and sleep with his girlfriend, who won't be attending the dance without him.

Now that I think about it, why did I go to MY prom? 400 bucks for a buffet and Journey. And of course, post-prom masturbation.

Celebutard newlyweds Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are honeymooning in Mexico this week, despite the outbreak of the swine flu.

I would rather honeymoon on the floor of the bathroom at the Port Authority bus terminal. In August. With no AC.

In other moron news, an orthodox Jewish family from New York has decided to time travel to 1939 Poland. 

Mel Gibson and his soon to be ex-wife will be splitting up $900 million in assets, including a number of insanely expensive estates.

 The "regular" estates will go to his former wife. The "No Jews allowed" estates will be kept by Mel.

President Barack Obama has met top credit card executives and vowed to introduce reforms to purge their industry of "abusive" rate hikes and fees and to restore strong protections for consumers. He also expressed concern over young consumers being targeted by credit card companies.

Perennial scumbag American Express responded by mailing Obama's daughters pre-approved no limit Optima cards, with cashback rewards for school supplies and candy.