A girl at my job and I have a unique relationship, it's like we're practically married...by that, I mean we avoid eye contact and aren't on speaking terms.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MH0KZHkGWRM

Joey McIntyre of New Kids On The Block recently compared his group collaborating with New Edition as being like the Beatles working with the Rolling Stones. McIntyre then claimed responsibility for starting the Obama/Hitler comparisons.

I work at the airport, and recently, a passenger thanked me for my efforts, but said I wouldn't have to do half of what I do if not for some jerks hijacking planes.

Terrorists are jerks? That puts it in perspective. Beheading soldiers on camera is just like someone stealing my favorite parking space.

Suicide bombing? That's just like people who talk too loud at the movies.

Years ago, I went to the theater to see Final Fantasy-The Spirits Within. The effects were amazing, the storyline was intense, and that was only during the Spider-Man trailer!

As for the movie, I won't call it boring, but if entertainment caused STDs, then Final Fantasy tested negative.

Cyborgs are the transsexuals of the Robot Kingdom.

If you were upset over all the previous Disney princesses being white, I just want to say thank you. You make me look like I have a life.

Actress Brittany Murphy died at the age of 32 from a heart attack. It's sad to see someone so young have their career cut short. We'll never know what unwatchable movies she might've made. 

Spider-Man 4 might be delayed because director Sam Raimi is burdened by an incomplete script...turns out it's the script to Spider-Man 3! 

Cars.com released a list of the 10 worst car names. On the list are such models as the Hyundai Equus, the Toyota Yaris and the Ford Roofie.