I saw an article today under the headline 10 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Lying. But I was groggy when I first read it and thought the last word was Dying.

Wouldn't that have been a fun article If I read that correctly:

SIGN 1: He cancels plans with you because he's been coughing up blood for 2 days straight.

SIGN 2: He spends less time with you than with a Hospice... 

The comedian is when you tell a woman a joke after sex, and it makes her laugh so hard, cum shoots out her nose.

A news article revealed today that there's a staggering shortage of Eggo Waffles. Kellogg will start rationing supplies, while Aunt Jemima Syrup will be brought in via The Underground RailRoad.

Low-cut women's jeans should be called "Crack Dealers". 

A news article reported that Led Zeppelin's Stairway To Heaven became a radio staple due to allowing DJs cigarette breaks. I guess that means Led Zeppelin causes cancer. 

My dad heard a Bob Marley cover on TV and shook his head saying "Nope. Only Bob Marley can sing that song."

I disagree. Anybody but Bob Marley can sing that song, because he's dead. 

Word is Dane Cook will be helping out Tommy Lee with some songs for his new solo album. If you thought Tommy Lee solo was a laugh riot before... 

 Joe Perry recently stated that Aerosmith won't be waiting for Steven Tyler to return to the fold. Well, if they need a singer with a busted face, Susan Boyle's available.

You know that Frank's Red Hot Sauce commercial on the radio, the one with the slogan "I Put That Shit On Everything"?

That would've made a great slogan for K-Y jelly. 

A new survey reveals that 1 in 20 Americans plan to buy a home next year. The other 19 live in the real world.