Nathan Will Joke Feed powered by DailyComedy.com http://www.dailycomedy.com/u/NathanWillSheets http://www.dailycomedy.com/images/users/m/NathanWillSheets.jpg Nathan Will http://www.DailyComedy.com/u/NathanWillSheets The latest jokes from Nathan Will courtesy of DailyComedy.com Nathan Will <![CDATA[NARAL to Sponsor “Say No to Coat Hangers Girlfriend!” Campaign]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/6470 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/6470/#comment News

WASHINGTON D.C.—Today NARAL director Nancy Keenan announced that due to continuing fears that the Supreme Court decision Roe vs. Wade will be overturned within 10 years, NARAL: Pro-Choice America and other leading pro-choice groups will sponsor the “Say No to Coat Hangers Girlfriend!” campaign. “We know that without the government supporting choice for any reason right up to the ninth month of pregnancy, women are going to start getting coat hanger abortions,” Keenan said at a press conference held yesterday. “We need to start educating women now—so that they don’t need to obtain coat hanger abortions.” Pro-choice groups have always watched the direct correlation between women’s intelligence and a dependence on Roe. “It doesn’t look good for my sex,” Keenan commented. “We’re not very bright. Without legal access to abortion, women will just start getting them any possible way—back alleys or, worse, doing it themselves.” The campaign’s website, www.saynotocoathangersgirlfriend.org, is run by the interns at Planned Parenthood Federation of America. Julia Sheming, the intern directing the development of the website, said that the goal of the campaign is to make the website the top information tool used. “We have a FAQ section,” she said in an interview, “that explains to women why shoving a coat hanger in their uterus is bad.” The said section, featuring over 40 questions and answers, explains queries such as “If I can’t afford a back alley abortion and will die from using a coat hanger, what other alternatives could there possibly be?” Read More [more]


Author: Nathan Will
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 18 Jan 2007

]]>
http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/6470 Thu, 18 Jan 2007 14:11:04 -0700 Nathan Will
Nathan Will <![CDATA[Pro-Choicers and Pro-Life Pregnancy Centers...]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/6469 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/6469/#comment Blogs

Pregnancy Resource Centers (also known as Crisis Pregnancy Centers) are very controversial. When I say “very controversial”, I mean pro-choicers complain about them. Giving women only life-affirming options goes against everything Planned Parenthood stands for. Hence the reason the pro-choice movement is constantly attacking PRCs, claiming that they deceive women, because some women go inside a PRC thinking that they can get an abortion there, and apparently they also sometimes leave with a changed mind about an abortion because they are given factual information about their unborn baby—this is a bad thing to pro-choicers. Where the “deception” comes in, I don’t know. I’ve yet to see a PRC blatantly advertise as an abortion clinic, so I don’t think that could be it. Perhaps by “deceive” pro-choicers think that somehow the women enter the clinic and are tricked into thinking that, sometime during the paper work and the video from the 80s that shows fetal development, they actually got an abortion only to find themselves horrifyingly giving birth a few months later. But a few secular pro-lifers also do not like PRCs. In a particularly secular pro-life group, I’ve been discussing the issue with some of them. The first thing that’s wrong with PRCs is the fact that everyone who enters the center will be told a typical evangelical view of the “Good News” apparently found in the Bible. Many undercover NARAL interns also report being “guilted” into not having an abortion. Why, even some pro-lifers ask, are these centers making women feel guilty? Not that I don’t trust the undercover college-aged women who work for NARAL, but I’ve noticed that the general hard outer shell of the choice movement is broken at something as minuscule as a receptionist at the PRC offering them a mint. The run away screaming and crying, as if they were punched in the face. They must been guilt mints! [more]


Author: Nathan Will
Category: Blogs
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 12 Jan 2007

]]>
http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/6469 Fri, 12 Jan 2007 20:24:58 -0700 Nathan Will
Nathan Will <![CDATA[Pro-Choicers and Coat Hangers]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/6468 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/6468/#comment News

Have the pro-choicers not noticed that no one uses wire coat hangers anymore? It’s true—everyone uses wooden or plastic hangers. Believe me, I’ve tried to find wire coat hangers—you simply won’t find them. If you’ve gone camping anytime in the last ten years you know that gone are the days of roasting marshmallows with a wire coat hanger and burning your hand. Now they have “Marshmallow Roasters”, a long skewer with a plastic handle which allows people of all ages to participate in campfire fun. Since patenting this product, however, wire coat hangers have mysteriously disappeared, leaving campers with no other option but to use these roasters or, perhaps, a stick—and really, who wants to use a dirty stick? Anyway, the only place you will find a wire coat hanger is at a pro-choice protest. Seriously, I think the pro-choice movement probably owns 98% of all remaining wire coat hangers in the country (psychotic celebrity mothers own the other 2%). When confronted with the stark reality of no one in America currently owning a wire coat hanger, pro-choicers say that women will resort to the actual marshmallow roasters themselves.   [more]


Author: Nathan Will
Category: News
Keywords: pro-choice pro-life abortion coat hanger abortions naral planned parenthood
Added: Wed, 10 Jan 2007

]]>
http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/6468 Wed, 10 Jan 2007 18:33:18 -0700 pro-choice,pro-life,abortion,coat hanger abortions,NARAL,Planned Parenthood Nathan Will