NORFOLK, Va. (AP) - The president and CEO of the company that has exclusive rights to salvage the Titanic says the company is interested in conducting its first salvage since 2004 at the world's most famous shipwreck.
They are confident they will find the "Heart of the Ocean" diamond this time. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Mon, 26 Oct 2009

var clickExpire = "-1";





Moscow, Russia (CNN) -- A bear on ice skates attacked two people during rehearsals at a circus.  The 5-year-old animal killed the circus administrator, Dmitry Potapov, and mauled an animal trainer, who was attempting to rescue him.
The bear was heard to say, "I told him to quit calling me gay!" [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Sat, 24 Oct 2009

In
Bucharest, during a trip to central and eastern Europe, Vice President Joe Biden said more cooperation on economic development was needed with
Moldova,
Europe's poorest nation.

Biden first stated that more cooperation with Genovia was needed.  Aides quickly reminded him that Genovia was the fictional nation featured in the film “Princess Diaries”. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Thu, 22 Oct 2009

So who picks THEIR crops?  [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Thu, 22 Oct 2009

Khagendra Thapa Magar from Nepal, thought to be the world's smallest living man at just 22 inches (56 centimetres), has turned 18 and now hopes to be officially recognised for his record size.
His mother was shocked last year when she found copies of "Play Gnome" magazine under his bed. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Thu, 15 Oct 2009

ABUJA, Nigeria (AP) - A Nigerian lawmaker says parliament is considering a bill that will make it a criminal offense for hospitals and medical workers to delay or deny treatment of gunshot wounds. 
inflicted by people fed up with Nigerian email scams. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Thu, 15 Oct 2009

SYDNEY -  John Daly will play in the Australian Open and Australian PGA golf tournaments in December after recovering more quickly than expected from a rib injury.
Daly broke a rib on a curb after stumbling from a bar prior to the start of the second round of the Slim Jim pro-am in Macon, Georgia.  [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: Sports
Keywords: joke
Added: Wed, 14 Oct 2009

FALL CITY, Wash. (AP) - The center, called ReSTART, is somewhat ironically located near Redmond, headquarters of Microsoft and a world center of the computer industry. It opened in July and for $14,000 offers a 45-day program intended to help people wean themselves from pathological computer use, which can include obsessive use of video games, texting, Facebook, eBay, Twitter and any other time-killers brought courtesy of technology.
_____________________________
The twelve-step program features a series of online therapy sessions, interactive dialogue, and a user-created virtual therapist.  [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Thu, 3 Sep 2009

SEOUL, South Korea -- North Korea criticized the U.S. on Monday for positioning missile defense systems around Hawaii, calling the deployment part of a plot to attack the regime and saying it would bolster its nuclear arsenal in retaliation.
______________
North Korea also announced that wearing seat belts will be considered vehicular homicide, wearing life jackets will be considered overt naval aggression, and use of food product warning labels will be considered chemical warfare attacks. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Mon, 29 Jun 2009

Several mummies from the

Brooklyn
Museum, estimated to be 1700-3000+ years old, received a SCAT scan yesterday.

 
The mummies’ HMO is expected to refuse payment for the procedure. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Wed, 24 Jun 2009

NEW YORK (AP) - The amusement park company Six Flags is seeking Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, saying it needs to reorganize and shed $1.8 billion of debt.
___________
The new parks, "Three Flags", will not have working roller coasters (just the tracks).  But there will be a lot of homeless guys wandering around, wearing various super hero T-shirts.
Ticket prices are expected to rise only 7%. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Sat, 13 Jun 2009

TEHRAN (Reuters) - State media declared President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad the winner of Iran's election but challenger Mirhossein Mousavi alleged irregularities and claimed victory for himself.
______
Ahmadinejad, the radical incumbent president of Iran, believes Israel should be wiped off the face of the earth like rabid dogs.
Mousavi, the moderate challenger, believes Israel should just be wiped off the face of the earth. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Sat, 13 Jun 2009

Cher's daughter Chastity Bono is changing gender from female to male.
___________
Michael Jackson's third nose is being considered for the procedure. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: joke
Added: Fri, 12 Jun 2009

Cher's daughter Chastity Bono is changing gender from female to male.
__________
It's not really that surprising since Cher has had everything but her sex organs changed at least three times. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: joke
Added: Fri, 12 Jun 2009

WASHINGTON – Ten of the nation's largest banks were given the green light Tuesday to repay $68 billion in government bailout money, freeing them from restrictions on executive compensation that they say are making it hard to keep their top-performing executives.




 
The top-performing executives almost bankrupted our country, something like Homer Simpson being in charge! (I guess we should be glad the second tier executives, the Barneys, weren’t in charge!) [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Tue, 9 Jun 2009