TEHRAN, Iran (AP) - Iran's nuclear chief, Gholam Reza Aghazadeh, says Iran now has more than 5,000 centrifuges operating, in defiance of U.N. demands that Tehran halt its controversial nuclear program.
In defense, Aghazadeh said nuclear power is the only way Iran can provide enough electricity to run more than 5,000 centrifuges. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Wed, 26 Nov 2008

They are now breeding a camel fast enough to deliver the weapon. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Thu, 20 Nov 2008

Christmas at New York City's Rockfeller Center will feature a tree from western New Jersey that its owners call a "miracle."
Workers are cutting down the 72-foot tall Norway spruce on the grounds of Tree King nursery in Hamilton, which is owned by the Varanyak family.
He says it's "the miracle tree" because his late mother always said it would one day be on display at Rockefeller Center.
His brother, Bob, says they recently saw a blue bird in the tree and they believe the bird was their mother guarding it.
________
Unfortunately, the blue bird was crushed by the falling tree, and its recently hatched chicks froze to death in the crisp, NJ air....but the tree is beautiful, and if you squint your eyes, tree rings on the stump almost look like Santa Claus. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Fri, 14 Nov 2008

Homeland Security is now testing the next generation of security screening — a body scanner that can read your mind.
The device flashes and beeps when detecting thoughts of at least 19 virgins. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Wed, 24 Sep 2008

ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. - A federal judge has dismissed a $20 million racketeering lawsuit against seven casinos by a former New York City attorney who said they had a duty to stop her from gambling.
The judge was giving 37 to 1 odds that there would be a successful appeal. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Mon, 22 Sep 2008

The Greatful Dead and the Allman Brothers will play at a fundraiser event at Penn State University.
It seems appropriate, since dead voters will be voting for Obama in November, at least in Chicago. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Fri, 19 Sep 2008

Man killed while trying to steal copper cable carrying 11,000 volts



Times Online


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color:#06c;
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A man was killed trying to steal a copper cable which was carrying 11,000 volts, an inquest heard today.
Kirk John Thompson was electrocuted at the derelict Panteg steelworks, in Pontypool, South Wales, when his bolt croppers pierced the plastic coating of a cable still connected to the National Grid. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Thu, 18 Sep 2008

BERLIN (Reuters) - German biologists have discovered a new species of ant they believe is the oldest on the planet, dating back around 120 million years.
The ant was found on a 130-million-year-old twinkie. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Tue, 16 Sep 2008

Asbury Park Press, August 22, 2008
Plans to execute a $17 million cleanup of unexploded munitions from the sands of Long Beach Island, New Jersey, remain on hold, though officials say they are confident the project will be completed.
To save money, the beach will be detonated during next year's Fourth of July festivities. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Fri, 22 Aug 2008

She said it was tough keeping the miniature microphone from burning up in spinach souffles. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Wed, 13 Aug 2008

— Officials running the cleanup of World War I-era chemical munitions buried in Washington's Spring Valley neighborhood have recovered a new military compound at the current excavation. Dan Noble, project manager for the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers project, says they found a sealed glass test tube on June 13 that contained traces of a military vomiting agent known as DA. The chemical was sent to the Armys chemical station at Edgewood, Md.

Why don't they just serve BLTs, with Mexican tomatoes, to the enemy. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Wed, 9 Jul 2008

It's only natural, since Obama is relying so heavily on voter's faith that he is qualified to be president. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: Political
Keywords: joke
Added: Tue, 1 Jul 2008

NEW YORK (AP) - A European Vogue cover model fell to her death from her Manhattan apartment building Saturday in an apparent suicide, published reports said.

Apparently, she wasn't so super after all.

(yeah, sick joke, but I HAD to post it) [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Mon, 30 Jun 2008

breitbart.com — WASHINGTON - The world's population will reach 7 billion in 2012 even as the global community struggles to satisfy its appetite for natural resources according to a new government projection.

Starbucks will open it's one-billionth store in 2013. [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Fri, 20 Jun 2008

MINNEAPOLIS, Minn., June 17 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- The Society of Corporate Compliance and Ethics (SCCE) announced today that Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley will address the 7th Annual Compliance & Ethics Institute, being held from September 14-17, at the Sheraton Chicago Hotel & Towers, Chicago, IL.

Isn't having a Chicago Mayor address an ethics institute like having a wino address a sobriety institute? [more]

Author: Steve Knowles
Category: News
Keywords: joke
Added: Tue, 17 Jun 2008