I remember when I slept with people. Now I usually sleep with my remote control, but I'm thinking about sleeping with something more active -- something that can't say stupid shit but perhaps hums.

It's different for each person.  Not everyone gets the heavy-duty sweats.  There's more than one way to tell that you're menopausal.  For instance, getting food caught in your mustache -- that's an indicator.

Losing weight, while getting older, is slow going.  While I get excited about dropping pounds, another tooth chips.  I figure by the time I get my body looking great, I might have no teeth left.  And ya know, some men would actually like that.

Men who call themselves "dogs" really shouldn't flatter themselves so.

It'll be interesting if I ever do hook up with a woman, and the angry dyke who lusted for me finds out.  Then she'll have to see that it wasn't her lack of penis that stood in the way -- it was the size of her balls. 

This woman who was seeing me as a romantic interest was too self-centered a person to consider for such a relationship.  She blamed my lack of interest on my heterosexuality.  I don't get it.  Why would she think I'd find such qualities which I don't like in men to be acceptable in her simply because she doesn't have a penis ... or any way to provide me with medical benefits?

I'm single again after a long marriage, and I can't help but notice how much has not changed.  Like if I don't tend to tilt my head, look dreamy-eyed, and softly giggle, some straight men will automatically assume I'm a lesbian.  If that's all it takes, fine, then I'm a lesbian.  ...  A virgin lesbian.  ...  Who sleeps with men.

My adult students were having trouble with fraction word problems, so when we were going over one of them, I compared one and a half inches to one and a half dollars.  Then they whizzed through the problem easily.  One woman said to me, "Mindy, you have to speak to us in terms of money."   I looked at the word problem and said, "Sometimes, it's not a matter of money; sometimes, it's a matter of inches."