The government declared Thursday that food from cloned animals is safe to eat.

    -However it still had no explaination for Turkey Bacon

In an interview Monday, Kate Moss said that her career has been on a high since she got out of rehab. 

            -She then said that she was very jealous of it

Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee on Tuesday angrily defended a gift registry that was set up to help furnish his new home, and said the registry was "simply put together for a housewarming party."

            -Suspicion arose because the only item on the registry was “cash”

            -And his house address was 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington DC

Republicans are known for having a hands off approach to Government

            It’s the opposite with Pages

Lindsay Lohan and Keira Knightley will join forces on the low budget independent film “The Best Time of Our Lives.”    How was the film able to be produced at a low budget?

                - Because they didn’t have to provide any food.

On Monday, mental health experts called for the term schizophrenia to be dropped, saying it is imprecise and stigmatizing.

            -When we say “experts” we mean sufferer Carl Prentiss of Jackson MS.

A canned energy drink called "Cocaine" being sold in New York grocery stores has infuriated the city's mayor who says its brand name celebrates the use of a dangerous drug.

            -In other news: Whitney Houston was seen with what appeared to be a “Gatorade like liquid“ running from her nose.

 Evil sex crazed page uses Alcohol to corrupt innocent Congressman.

Researchers have called on the federal government to impose new restrictions on Viagra because studies suggest it makes gay men more likely to use illegal drugs, have unprotected sex and become infected with sexually transmitted diseases.

     -For similar reasons researchers are also calling for a ban on "looking fabulous."