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Live Show News: PunchlineMagazine.com's 3rd Anniversary Show with Greg Giraldo, Robert Kelly, Laurie Kilmartin, Ray Ellin, Christian Finnegan and more! October 7, 2008 at 8 PM ET Comix, NY
Get tickets now! or Call (212) 524-2500.
  
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Registered on: 08/09/06
Location:
TX
URL: http://www.dailycomedy.com/u/Marlena
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Biography:
I am an up and coming comedienne out of Houston, Texas. Check me out on my space:www.myspace.com/marlenacomedienne
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Page Views: 434
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Jokes: 133
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The juvenile took grandma's keys and SUV. Drove to the next town hitting 2 parked cars and 2 movings cars along the way. He was arrested and is being charged with grand theft auto.
In other news Grand Theft Auto IV will be released tomorrow, coincidence or publicity stunt.
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In a letter to parents Monday, Amanda-Clearcreek Primary School principal Mike Johnsen said Ruth Ann Stoneburner confirmed last week's incident. Johnsen also wrote that the four boys told him spring-type clothespins had been put on their lips for talking too much in class.
Evidently the school has not heard of Ridalin.
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Bolivia's coca growers are taking on an American soft-drink icon.
The farmers want the word "Coca" dropped by Coca-Cola. They argue the potent shrub belongs to the cultural heritage of the Andean nation, where the coca leaf infuses everyday life and is sacred to many.
The commission is part of an effort led by President Evo Morales to rehabilitate the image of the plant. It's been used in the Andes for millennia, but is better known internationally as the base ingredient of cocaine.
In additional news Columbians told Coca- Cola not to even think about changing it's name to just "Coke".
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 The United Postal Service will help promote "Star Wars' " 30th anniversary by dressing the street mailboxes like R2-D2. Additionally to celebrate "Saturday Night Fever's" 30th anniversay all mail carriers will put on their "boogie shooes" just to boogie with you.
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The hard drives in copy machines store your info and make you susceptible to Identity Theft. So someone could be running around with your ass print.
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Turns out Phillip Holliday did not blame a unicorn for driving his truck into a lampost, because that would be silly everyone knows unicorns can't drive.
He said an unnamed woman was driving the truck.
Prosecutors call this the "Unicorn Defense", when someone blames some mythical person for the crime.
It seems that the Deputy Prosecutor did not get the memo that the phrase had been changed from the "OJ Defense"
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Nino's Bellisima Pizza restaurant in New York is now offering a grand pizza -- or rather -- a pizza costing a grand. Nino was quoted, "If I could only sell one it would be show how stupid the rich really are".
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 Scared the investigators so much they forgot they were there for a drug bust. They confiscated the animal and then it was taken to an undisclosed animal sanctuary. 4 hours later, the investigators remembered why they were at that property to begin with and busted the resident with methamphetamine. They are going to let him slide on the drug charge, but he will be ticketed for his exotic thingy ma-jig.
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 Also, for a mere $24.99 you can upgrade your cellular plan and the new BlackBerry 8800 will wipe your ass for you.
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Great! "Now To Catch a Predator" is going to have to keep an eye on the barns too.
