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Registered on: 08/03/06
Location:
URL: http://www.dailycomedy.com/u/KyleBuis
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Biography:
I'm a writer and a photographer who looks for the small ironies in life. I also pluck out the bits and pieces of what I see for a weekly radio show on a low power station, meaning not many people have heard it. I think that makes me undiscovered, who knows?
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Page Views: 208
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Jokes: 23
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Videos: 0
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Comments: 0
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Fans: 0
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A Texas bodybuilder said televangelist Pat Robertson threatened to kill him and his family over a lawsuit involving Robertson's miracle protein diet shake.
He's is right to fear Robertson's almighty power. After all, the preacher has said he can leg press 2,000 pounds, he can steer the path of hurricanes and he knows gay people caused the Sept. 11 attacks. Anyone crazy enough to believe all of that would make the perfect serial killer.
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A child molester was sentenced to 800 years to life for molesting three young boys. The punishment is 375 years shy of what the prosecutor hoped for. After all, it's a known fact that child molesters tend to rise from the grave as zombies that hunger for human flesh — but only after 1,100 years.
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A California lawmaker wants to get rid of incandescent light bulbs by the year 2012 because they only convert five percent of the energy they receive. Next on his list of things-to-get-rid-of-that-take-a-lot-of-resources and-put-out-very-little — the state legislature.
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West Virginia schools are bringing in the game “Dance Dance Revolution” to trim the waistlines of its students. The decision comes on the heels of a study that found that children who played it for 30 minutes five days a week ended up in better shape. An unnamed school official said, “Recess was an option, but it just didn't waste enough money.”
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A Dutch gym plans to introduce “Naked Sunday,” a time when people can work out in the nude. Because of the laws of supply and demand, blindfolds will be offered for $50.
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Microsoft's long-awaited operating system, Vista, hit store shelves Tuesday. Apple chief executive officer Steve Jobs applauded Bill Gates' company for, “finally catching up to Mac OS X. Well, at least the one that came out in 2003.”
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England's Prince Charles took a break from his trip to the U.S. to shoot some hoops in Harlem on Sunday. The 58-year-old prince stunned the crowd with a no-look, reverse slam dunk and proclaimed afterward, “I do believe this is my house now, fellows.”
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Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee recently launched his presidential bid. Huckabee said he would bring a lot of heart to the race once he could come up with a slogan.
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Belgian veterinarians said an iguana named Mozart wasn't worried about the amputation procedure that would rid him of his weeklong erection because, “he doesn't know what amputation means.” Mozart may not understand the word “amputation,” but once he sees where the knife is going, he'll be more than a little worried.
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Schools in the United Kingdom are being encouraged by a government committee to tell parents if their children are overweight or obese. Teachers in those schools will be required to take self-defense classes before telling parents, “Your kid is fat.”
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