During a Sunday news conference in Iraq, President George W. Bush ducked two shoes that were thrown at him. In his last action as Commander In Chief he ordered, "Get that foot soldier out of here immediatly?"

My teenage daughter wanted a nose ring.  I told her to go ahead and download it. Now, when she gets a call she sneezes. 

Sarah Palin has thwarted the most recent GOP loss control scheme. After loosing the election, Rove and the boys wanted her to resign as Alaska Governor and become appointed by the LT. Governor to fill the Senate seat of newly convicted felon Ted Stevens.  “I’ll take your clothes, boy hidey, but Joe Biden is not going to run me!” Palin commented while walking away kind of sideways.

Dick and Nancy share a common relief
They both get their willies under the Commander and Chief
But Nancy’s muse is now pushing up daisies
And Dick’s boy is headed to Texas and resume lazy

Now what will they do to keep control in their life
Nancy is bored and Dicks tired of his wife

The Green Room was free so Nancy took a knee
To give oral understanding to her favorite VP
In younger years they could handle this salve
But Nancy broke her hip and Dick blew a valve

If global warming is good for bicycle riding.  Warm and sunny. And if riding a bike helps the global warming problem. If enough people ride a bike then the weather will become cold and rainy again and bad for bike riding.

Caught you George! You like to ride bikes, your old, in the Library with a Gun.

John McCain came out swinging at Obama in the Presidential debate.  Unfortunately, due to his arm injuries he wound up just patting him on the butt.

After her performance in last night’s debate, Sarah Palin has dropped out of the Vice Presidential race citing financial hardship.  She reportedly has signed lucrative contracts with Anheuser Bush and The National Tourette Syndrome Foundation.

Some conservatives say that Gwen Ifill's upcoming book, 'The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama,' is pro-Obama and proves her bias to the left. These are the same people that say the bible proves Bush right.

We’ve got to have all options out there on the table because I’m ill and we’ve created 5 out of 4 jobs in the vodka distillers sector because the strategy in Iraq is what John wants to see if we are going to be successful in our quest to keep an eye on Russia throughout our great history. Why are you asking me these gotcha questions Gwinn? I have a gun and you look like a cute little moose.

The financial crisis is not affecting me.  All my money is tied up in unearned income.