I love humans.  I am certainly not a a spokesman for PETA, but is it really necessary to snag the rare giant octopus.  As soon as there is something on this earth that we don't know everything about, we must find it, kill it, slice it open, see how it breeds, what it eats and count it's organs.  Its the real reason we send rovers to Mars.  Some NASA geek is hoping to god that there is life out there so they can catch it, disect it and see if it is edible and find out if it will cure a disease or two. 

Just a word of warning to those of you shopping for a new car.  I am not sure if you have seen the commercials for the Volkswagon Jetta but they appear to get in a lot of accidents.  You know the commercial, two or three people in the middle of a normal conversation and then WHAM!  Out come the airbags and their bodies flop around like crash dummys.  So go buy a Hummer or big truck to crush the other Jetta's in town. 

Recently my girlfriend's son lost his phone charger.  So, she got inthe car and went out in search of a new charger to fit his phone.  Most chargers were around $19 to $26 and we were unable to find one that definately fit his phone model.  Then she hopped on the internet to find the one we needed and find the cheapest.  Three or four minutes later she found the charger we needed for $4.99 plus $2.99 for shipping and handling.  Obviously she's very excited she found it and it is very cheap, so she orders it.  Today, the charger is delivered to the house.  It came from Hong Kong.  Why am I telling you about this.  Think about this.  It cost $7.98 for a charger that travelled about 9000 miles which is less than half of what it would cost to run to Wal-Mart and get it.  I get the sense that in Hong Kong and China they make everything for about a penny.  Cell phone, one penny, radio, one penny, toaster oven, one penny, microwave, one penny, new car, one penny, having a charger delivered with all of the cool little Chinese symbols on the label.......priceless. 

We are the land of free, home of the brave and the market for the most incredible mark-up percentages in the entire world and Mars.  I'm moving to Hong Kong.  You can feed a family of 20 there for like, $3.95 total.  And, it's probably a buffet. 

So Mr. Rumsfeld has been let go.  Sounds like he has a lot of free time now.  Let's send him to Iraq to run around and dodge bullets, car bombs and friendly fire.  We'll make sure he has the best in military body armor.  I have some extra pots, pans and maybe some catcher's equipment.   

Election Day has come and gone.  And look out, the Democrats have taken over.  Do you know what this really means?  The other half of corrupt human beings with a donkey logo are in charge instead of the elephant logoed corrupt party.  The next honest, god-fearing, by the people - for the people politician to come out will be the first.  The politicians that fit that mold are only on dollar bills and coins.

They are all going to waste your money, fly on your tax money and make sure the organizations that give them kickbacks continue to prosper.  We need to lose the party tag and find politicians who understand the real middle class.  Not the affluent middle class that they golf and mingle with.  So, make sure you get out there and vote and put your favorite politician in charge.  There are a lot of interns and tax payers that need them to get screwed over.  Sometimes literally.

A favorite pet-peeve of mine is the movie Pinnochio.  You all remember.  The movie about the old man building wooden dolls of boys and little girls.  Then, some fairy comes down and brings him to life.  And, instead of being freaked out by this, the old pervert embraces it and thinks it's ok to send him out into the real world.  "You must go to school".  Yeah, great idea, 11 minutes ago he was a mute wooden boy so you better get him out there to learn math and get his study on.  And, it's always a good idea to give a dude with one foot in the grave a kid.  The rest of the movie is full of bad kids, pinnochio smoking cigars, playing pool and then they turned little kids into donkeys.  Hello!  Am I the only one that sees a problem here.  When this first came out kids must have been mortified.  We try to keep our kids from saying bad words, seeing naked women and playing violent video games.  However, it is ok to send the message that if you're bad you'll turn into a donkey and have to work on mountain for the rest of your life.  Next time we'll talk about the huge lie that is, Santa Claus.

Recently I represented a paper I draw cartoons for at the Buffalo Comicon.  Obviously out looking for exposure and finding new advertisers for the paper. 

This may suprise you but some comic book people are what you might call....strange.  A lot of comic book people are well over middle age and appear to still live with their parents.  Now, I met a bunch of cool artists that have it together and may even rent their own apartment.  But, the comic book fans.....uh, a little cuckoo.  I could only compare it to a minor league trekkie convention. 

If you read this and say that I am lying, but you are reading this in your mom's basement surrounded by boxes of DC and Marvel comic books and no girlfriend in your near future, maybe you should reevaluate things.  Get out.  Get some sun.  I am a big Spiderman and X-Men fan.  However, my real life is not associated with the characters ever.  It's called.....reality.