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Julia Gorin
Julia Gorin


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Julia Gorin
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Arab World Mourns Michael Jackson

By: Julia Gorin (C)
Submitted: Jul 3, 2009
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Michael Jackson

122 Jokes  3 Videos

While young fans in Lebanon lit candles and sang to Michael Jackson's songs, Bahraini lawyer Qays al Zu'bi said, "Despite the scandal in the United States, I saw mothers at the lobby of his hotel who brought their children to introduce them to Michael Jackson."

Uh, yeah.


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Julia Gorin
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The Mind of Michael Jackson

By: Julia Gorin (C)
Submitted: Jul 1, 2009
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Michael Jackson

122 Jokes  3 Videos

At one point Michael Jackson had a rabbi and was studying to become Jewish before deciding to convert to Islam. What a choice! It's like, "Hmm, do I want to be a Jew...or an anti-Semite? Jew, anti-Semite; Jew, anti-Semite..."

I guess in the end he decided that the latter was just more fun.


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Julia Gorin
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Gays on Bruno Movie: "I Think They're Laughing at Us!"

By: Julia Gorin (C)
Submitted: Jun 19, 2009
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Gay and Lesbian

462 Jokes  20 Videos

While the gay community is good at dishing it out, apparently it can't take any ribbing back.

About a photo shown in the upcoming Bruno movie of a baby sitting in a hot tub where two men are having sex (only two?), GLAAD senior director Rashad Robinson said, "As someone who sat at the back of a focus group audience outside of Los Angeles, I felt they were laughing at us at times."

God forbid gays should be comedy targets like the rest of us! Geez, you'd think if anyone should be OK with being the BUTT of the joke...

I mean, you'd think that if there's anyone who wouldn't be tight-assed about comedy...it's gay people.


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Julia Gorin
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"Hot" Michelle Obama Gets a Reality Check

By: Julia Gorin (C)
Submitted: Jun 9, 2009
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Barack Obama

697 Jokes  19 Videos

 


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Julia Gorin
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80% of Obama Voters: 'Time to Get Tough with Israel'

By: Julia Gorin (C)
Submitted: May 26, 2009
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Barack Obama

697 Jokes  19 Videos

Poll shows partisan divide on Middle East conflict (May 18)

80 percent of likely Obama voters were in total agreement with the phrase, “It’s time for the United States to get tough with Israel.”

The other 20 percent were the Dumb Jews who voted for him.


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Julia Gorin
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Missing Link Found?

By: Julia Gorin (C)
Submitted: May 22, 2009
Category: Weird  

Scientists have finally discovered a 47-million-year-old fossil, named “Ida”, that they say is the species that “bridges the evolutionary split between higher primates such as…humans and their more distant relatives such as lemurs."

Which is very odd. I thought we found the missing link 1400 years ago and his name was Muhammad.


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Julia Gorin
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250,000 Pigs in Egypt Die of Islamophobia

By: Julia Gorin (C)
Submitted: May 20, 2009
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Islam

246 Jokes  4 Videos

A slice of life, literally, from “moderate” Egypt as Muslims go hog wild on the country’s pigs: Pig cull YouTube video sparks outrage

…The clip posted by independent newspaper Al-Masri Al-Yom includes gory images of pigs being beaten with iron bars, piglets being stabbed and animals being kicked alive into bulldozer buckets...Although no case of swine flu has yet been detected on its territory, Egypt is the only country in the world to have decided to kill all its pigs, estimated to have numbered around 250,000 before the cull began.

In the video, Mohamed el-Mugharbil, deputy mayor of Kashkus near Cairo, describes how chemicals are also poured on animals caged in trucks, leading to a slow death…“Only the males are killed in accordance with the rules,” said journalist Heba Nasreddin, while “the piglets and sows are hit with an iron bar and left to bleed to death”.

For those who are fighting their urges to pour acid on their wives, girlfriends or sisters, the pigs are giving them an opportunity to get this out of their systems. Especially since pig flesh tears very similarly to human flesh (by virtue of pigs being descended from Jews), which is why pigs and Jews are used for all kinds of killing practice.

Other pictures obtained by AFP show pigs which have been disembowelled but whose throats have not been slit.

What a lovely place to holiday, Britons! Get your tickets now! After all, it's you they're practicing for.


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Julia Gorin
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Vice President's Vice Strikes Again

By: Julia Gorin (C)
Submitted: May 19, 2009
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Joe Biden

47 Jokes  1 Videos

Biden Reveals Location of Secret VP Bunker

The vice president, well-known for his verbal gaffes, confirms at a dinner the existence and location of a secret hidden bunker that Cheney is believed to have used after the 9/11 attacks..., divulging potentially classified information meant to save the life of a sitting vice president.

Well, now is as good a time as any!

View Image


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Julia Gorin
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Michelle Obama Makes Maxim's List of Hot 100

By: Julia Gorin (C)
Submitted: May 15, 2009
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Barack Obama

697 Jokes  19 Videos

According to Maxim’s Hot 100:

For the first time, a First Lady makes the cut: Michelle Obama debuts at No. 93. Says Maxim, “...our Commander-in-Chief gets to come home to the hottest First Lady in the history of these United States.”

I agree that Michelle Obama is hot. She totally reminds me of a guy I dated when I was 15.

View Image View Image

On that point, why did the Obamas have only two kids? Because Michelle Obama got a vasectomy.


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Julia Gorin
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Pope Visits the Western Wall and Hits his Head Against It

By: Julia Gorin (C)
Submitted: May 14, 2009
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Pope

106 Jokes  1 Videos

Pope Benedict XVI (R) visits the Western Wall, Judaism's ...

Pope Benedict visited the Western Wall in Jerusalem this week, inserting a note between its ancient crevices asking for peace.

I saw the wall myself when I was in Jerusalem in 2007. It’s a beautiful structure, a work of art really. I’m not talking about the Western Wall, I'm talking about the security wall. It's gorgeous. I too wrote a message on a tiny piece of paper, rolled it up and put it in a crack that went through to the terrorist side. It said, “F.U.”


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Biography
Julia Gorin is editor of the newly released book Clintonisms: The Amusing, Confusing and Suspect Musing of Billary. She is also the third-most recognizable name in politically conservative stand-up comedy. In addition to being profiled in the 2005 book South Park Conservatives, Julia's jokes were featured in the definitely non-conservative Penthouse magazine. Her jokes are among the "1,500 Best Jokes Ever Told" in Penguin Group's Complete Idiot's Guide to Jokes. When she isn't writing jokes or taking [more]

Robert Bork says:

Julia it's called Daily COMEDY. Try posting something funny next time, not a fart that came out of your head.
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