She's thrown her hat into the race for Mother of the Year.

In the unabriged version, you can hear him say, "Who hath made man’s mouth? Or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the blind? Have not I, the mother fucking Lord? "

Yet another disappointment for the Republicans, the blow up doll of Ann Coulter.

Written by Joe Wilson

ENCINO, California (PoopyCaca.com) – The vitriolic blonde, right-wing author, blogger and 9/11 widow basher, Ann Coulter, is the model for a new adult toy, a blow-up doll, which debuted on November 7th, election day, and sales have been a huge disappointment for the manufacturer.

“We thought this was shooting fish in a barrel,” said Jeff Larson, owner of the Encino based Adult Novelty Superstore. “We read the blogs, the fan sites, we know Republican guys have the hots for her, but apparently not enough to buy her doll.”

Although she never approved of the creation of the doll, Larson said there has been no contact by Coulter's representatives.

Coulter’s blow up doll was a manufacturing challenge, a direct result of her skeleton-like appearance and Adam’s apple. “We went back and forth with our manufacturer in Taiwan and trying to get the look right required a little improvising," Larson explained. “The neck is from a male blow up doll and we had to re-engineer a series of molds to get the look right, well, right for Ann that is.”

Total sales of the doll were a grand total of two, but recent news dropped that figure down to one. Chad Conrad Castagana, the man arrested earlier this week for sending threatening letters to Rep. Nancy Pelosi, Jon Stewart and Keith Olbermann, was one of the two buyers.

“I saw that story on the news and as soon as I saw the name, I knew one of the boxes I just shipped would probably be coming back. I don’t think they allow blow up dolls in prison,” Larson said.

Voters sent a signal to the politicians and, apparently, that same signal is being sent to sex toy manufacturers trying to create products attractive to Republicans.

“I can tell you the Michelle Malkin doll we had in the works won’t be introduced to the marketplace anytime soon,” Larson said.

Republican Senator, Rick Santorum, giving his concession speech on election night, surrounded by his family, all wondering why God hates their dad.

Written by Joe Wilson

WASHINGTON D.C. (PoopyCaca.com) – Some have accused Democrats of gloating after the election day win of both the House and Senate and if sales of the hottest new ring tone are any indication, gloating has never been more profitable.

Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum, who lost to Bob Casey this past Tuesday, made a concession speech, surrounded by his wife and crying children, and now that speech is the number one selling ring tone in the country.

According to Billboard, Santorum’s ring tone speech has outsold all others, a first for a spoken word ring tone. “It’s usually musicians at the top of the list, not conservative Republicans,” said Bill Ferguson, Billboard Ring Tone Analyst.

Santorum, whose conservative, religious political positions included his argument that if gay marriage was allowed in this country, making sex with animals legal would be next, lost his bid for re-election in Pennsylvania, but sales of his ring tone speech are a national phenomenon.

“I hate that guy,” explained Cookie Williams, a hair stylist in West Hollywood, California, “I Tivo’d his speech and burnt DVD’s of it for all my friends, I’ve got a picture of him giving the speech as my screen saver and the ring tone is like a birthday present every time I get a call.”

Senator Rick Santorum's concession speech is my new ring tone.

Evangelical leader, Ted Hagard, has announced he will go through a "spiritual restoration."

Hagard will be featured on the Christian Broadcasting Network's new makeover show, "Changing Souls."

Dane Cook book delayed until this week.

Written by Joe Wilson

LOS ANGELES (PoopyCaca.com) – Stand up comedy mega-star, Dane Cook, is joining the ranks of many comedians by publishing a book of his material, a pop-up book.

The book, titled, “There's So Many Things That I Want To Let You Guys Into My World About,” which is the opening line from Cook’s HBO special, "Vicious Circle," was initially going to be like those published by comedians such as Steve Martin, George Carlin, Ellen Degeneres and Jerry Seinfeld, a book of words. After the publisher, Random House, tested the book with focus groups, it was decided that Dane Cook’s material didn’t translate in written form without Cook’s signature physical delivery. This delayed the book going to press for several months, the release date was originally scheduled to coincide with the HBO series, “Tourgasm.”

According to Random House publicist Donna McGinty, “We didn’t want to publish a book just for Dane’s fans, we wanted anyone to pick up the book and enjoy his comedy, but words alone don’t do it justice, then we thought, hey, pop-up book!”

One of Cook’s “jokes” reads, “If somebody calls and messes with you on the phone like that you don't become terrified, you mess back ... If somebody calls and was like "have you checked the children?" I'd be like "I killed them!" In the previous version of the book in solely written form, the “joke” did not score well with focus groups, but with the addition of a series of “pop-ups” of Dane Cook as he tells the joke, the scores more than doubled.

The new version of the book, coming out later this week, features a series of “pop-ups” of Dane Cook in a variety of poses telling each of the “jokes” written on the page. McGinty explained, “This kind of comic genius, a genius enjoyed by millions of fans, can’t be captured in words alone.”

I am a compassionate pessimist - I don't think any of this is going to work out and I'm really sorry.