An Ohio judge recently ruled that election officials must accept provisional ballots from homeless voters, a move widely regarded to benefit Barack Obama since low income populations have a tendency to vote Democrat.
I actually think the homeless were some of the first Obama supporters.  Since the very beginning, they've been out on the street demanding change. [more]

Author: Jill Twiss
Category: Political
Keywords: barack obama homeless change democrat election
Added: Wed, 29 Oct 2008

According to the New York Times, six NFL players have agreed to donate their brains to Boston University's School of Medicine.
It's like
my mother always said when deciding which clothes to give to the
Salvation Army, "If you haven't used it for at least a year, go ahead
and donate it." [more]

Author: Jill Twiss
Category: Sports
Keywords: nfl football donate brain boston university
Added: Wed, 24 Sep 2008

Iran’s
President, Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, declared today before the U.N. General Assembly
that, “the American empire” is nearing its end.
Shortly afterward, President Bush retorted: "





Of course this isn’t the end of the American empire.  How else would we keep track of whether the
pitch was a strike or a ball?” [more]

Author: Jill Twiss
Category: Political
Keywords: ahmedinejad u.n. bush
Added: Tue, 23 Sep 2008

Scandal erupts amidst cries of "juicing." [more]

Author: Jill Twiss
Category: Weird
Keywords: steroids world record kids
Added: Sat, 12 Apr 2008

An Ohio kindergartener was suspended from school this week for having a Mowhawk haircut, which his mother claimed was the boy’s way of expressing his individuality.

Administrative officials responded by saying, “At our educational facilities, we prefer that students express their individuality through school-shootings.” [more]

Author: Jill Twiss
Category: News
Keywords: mowhawk school-shootings
Added: Sun, 2 Mar 2008

There was another school shooting this week, this time at Northern Illinois University.

The thing that bothers me about copycat killers is that they're so UNORIGINAL.

Sellouts.

They're like cover bands for murder. [more]

Author: Jill Twiss
Category: News
Keywords: school shooting guns murder bunnies
Added: Mon, 18 Feb 2008

After years of conflict with the Catholic Church, China ordained two Vatican-approved bishops this week.

Catholicism is a little different in China, in that the altar boys are less afraid of the molestation than the asbestos-laden toys they’ll be given to keep them quiet afterward. [more]

Author: Jill Twiss
Category: News
Keywords: catholic religion china asbestos
Added: Wed, 5 Dec 2007

An intelligence study released this week reports that Iran halted its nuclear weapons program in 2003, contradicting earlier reports that the country was working quickly toward a nuclear bomb.

When asked how he could defend his previous statements threatening military action against Iran, President Bush replied, “Look, here in America, we ONLY attack countries that don’t have weapons.” [more]

Author: Jill Twiss
Category: Political
Keywords: iran nuclear weapons bush
Added: Wed, 5 Dec 2007

Fox News host Bill O'Reilly has announced that he will debate 80s sitcom puppet, Alf, on his show tonight.

Sources say that immediately after the show was taped, O'Reilly had Alf deported: "Unfortunately, it seems that Alf was unable to document his status as a legal alien." [more]

Author: Jill Twiss
Category: Weird
Keywords: alf bill oreilly immigration
Added: Fri, 30 Nov 2007

Gillian Gibbons, a British teacher in Sudan, has been sentenced to fifteen days in prison for allowing her class to name its teddy bear "Muhammad."

To appease the radical Muslims, Gibbons has agreed to allow the class to name their next bear, "Damn Jews!" [more]

Author: Jill Twiss
Category: News
Keywords: sudan teacher muslim teddy bear
Added: Fri, 30 Nov 2007

Earlier this week, talk show host Carson Daly announced that his show will resume production next week without its writers.

The network fears that it will become apparent to viewers just how hard the writers worked to make Daly sound only mildly retarded. [more]

Author: Jill Twiss
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: writers strike carson daly retarded
Added: Fri, 30 Nov 2007

Republican Presidential candidate, Fred Thompson, announced Sunday that he believed that a comatose, brain-damaged woman who was allowed to die in 2005 should have been kept alive.

Political strategists said that Thompson’s speech was unnecessary as that, “He already had a lock on the brain-damaged vote.” [more]

Author: Jill Twiss
Category: Political
Keywords:
Added: Tue, 20 Nov 2007

According to Newsweek, Iranian police recently issued a directive ordering men not to tweeze their eyebrows.

Ideally, they'd like to keep up the facade that Iranian men have more facial hair than Iranian women. [more]

Author: Jill Twiss
Category: Weird
Keywords: iran hair eyebrows
Added: Tue, 10 Jul 2007

GOP presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, is being criticized for claiming in a speech that he is a lifelong hunter even though he has never taken out a hunting license.

Say opponents, "It's sort of like George Bush calling himself an avid reader." [more]

Author: Jill Twiss
Category: Political
Keywords:
Added: Mon, 9 Apr 2007

After much debate about choosing a jury of Libby's peers, the prosecution was forced to accept George "Knucklehead" Holder, David "Snugglebunny" Pierce, and Jennifer "Poopypants" Warner. [more]

Author: Jill Twiss
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Wed, 31 Jan 2007