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Jennifer Dziura
Jennifer Dziura
""It's Dih-ZUR-a""

New York, NY

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Biography
Jennifer Dziura is a New York-based comedian best known for orchestrating the Williamsburg Spelling Bee, a real spelling bee for adults featured in the New York Times and on NPR, TimeOut New York cable, and Good Morning America. Jennifer appears regularly at Pete's Candy Store in Brooklyn and has performed at NYU, Columbia University, Bowling Green University, Ft. Hamilton Army Base, and comedy clubs from Boise to Memphis. She has a CD available on iTunes just search "jennifer dziura", jokes [more]

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Jennifer Dziura
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Presidential name game

By: Jennifer Dziura (C)
Submitted: Apr 10, 2007
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Barack Obama

873 Jokes  28 Videos

Celebrity couples have all become subject to cute combo-names: Bennifer, TomKat, Brangelina, and now...



Gyllenspoon




What if, instead of restricting this practice to those who are actually banging each other, we also applied it to Presidential tickets?

For instance:



HillBama




And on the Republican side:



CondiCain




Or, here's a good one:



MormonDick




Or, if Hillary doesn't make the cut....



Barack O'GuyWhoseWifeHasCancer


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Anna Nicole's death

By: Jennifer Dziura (C)
Submitted: Feb 13, 2007
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Anna Nicole Smith

57 Jokes  1 Videos

Anna Nicole's deathOne cannot begin a comedy show this week without some comment on the mess that is Anna Nicole's death.

First Anna's son died in the hospital room where she had just given birth to her daughter. Then a paternity battle began between her ex-boyfriend and her lawyer/lover over who had fathered her daughter.

At first the press wasn't sure if she had actually married the lawyer/lover, and then it turns out the two had a wedding ceremony, but it wasn't legal. Then after Anna dies, Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband, who is apparently a prince, claims he might be the baby's father.

Anna and Trimspa were being sued for making false weight loss claims. To get out of various legal troubles, Anna was trying to establish residency in the Bahamas. After her death, photos of her in bed with the Bahamian immigration minister surfaced.

Anna Nicole's mother suggested to the press that the lawyer/fiance might be responsible for Anna and her son's deaths. Now Anna's half-sister claims Anna used the frozen sperm of her long-dead elderly husband to get pregnant.

A judge has ordered the preservation of the body and it may take up to five weeks to determine a cause of death, although it's already in the news that Anna had two different breast surgeries since giving birth five months ago and was taking at least 10 prescription drugs when she died.

On top of that, of course, she was still embroiled in a legal battle over her ex-husband's money.

With all that mess surrounding a tragic death, and a tragic life, it's easy get caught up in the sensationalism, to get lost in our own lurid interest -- to lose sight of what's really important:

At least she died thin!

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Dakota Fanning rape scene

By: Jennifer Dziura (C)
Submitted: Jan 30, 2007
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Dakota Fanning

5 Jokes



The movie Hounddog is drawing criticism for a child rape scene involving twelve-year old actress Dakota Fanning. Upon seeing all the free publicity this got for the film, other movie productions have announced the inclusion of child rape scenes, including Garfield, that Eddie Murphy thing with the fat suit, and the Rocky Balboa DVD release deleted scenes.

 


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Tyra Banks is fat

By: Jennifer Dziura (C)
Submitted: Jan 30, 2007
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Tyra Banks

8 Jokes



Tyra Banks talked to People magazine about the "fat pics" snapped of her on vacation. Banks said that she is retired from modeling and no longer needs to maintain a strict diet. Despite this explanation, she was disappointed that no one wanted to hear her sing "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going."

 


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Saddam's hanging

By: Jennifer Dziura (C)
Submitted: Jan 17, 2007
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Iraq

410 Jokes  3 Videos


The struggling Iraqi government was embarrassed at the leaking of a video of Saddam's execution, showing the former dictator's being taunted by Shiite witnesses, guards, and executioners. Prime Minster Nouri al-Maliki attempted to deflect attention from the leak by pointing out that there are many more interesting things to look at on Youtube, including Britney Spears' vagina, and a video of a small dog shitting on Kurdistan.

 



In related news, witnesses to Monday's executions of Saddam's accomplices all signed pledges promising "no taunting," and indeed, the hangings took place in silence. Witnesses also pledges not to push Sunnis off of playground swings, or perform a move loosely translated as "the wedgie of genocide."


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the Confederate flag

By: Jennifer Dziura (C)
Submitted: Jan 17, 2007
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

South Carolina

93 Jokes  1 Videos


Martin Luther King Day was met in South Carolina by protests both for and against the Confederate flag flying at the statehouse. At first peaceful, the protest turned violent when pro-flag demonstrators demanded that anti-flag demonstrators make them some collard greens.


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Saddam's half-brother decapitated

By: Jennifer Dziura (C)
Submitted: Jan 17, 2007
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Iraq

410 Jokes  3 Videos


On Monday, Saddam's half-brother Barzan Hassan was decapitated during his hanging, which the Iraqi government was quick to declare an accident. Hassan was convicted of killing 148 people. According to the new Iraqi constitution, if the number's under 150, you get to keep the head.

 


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MySpace France

By: Jennifer Dziura (C)
Submitted: Jan 16, 2007
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

MySpace

128 Jokes  8 Videos


MySpace has announced the launch of its French edition. Millions of American men facetiously thanked the multinational corporation for once and for all de-bonerizing the idea of come-ons from slutty young French girls.

 


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Michael Richards and the Laugh Factory

By: Jennifer Dziura (C)
Submitted: Jan 16, 2007
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Kramer

45 Jokes


Following a racially charged outburst from comedian and former Seinfeld actor Michael Richards, the "n" word is now banned at Hollywood's Laugh Factory. In response to charges of censorship, the club reminds patrons that comics are encouraged to call women "c*nts" up to 35 times per set.

 


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skinny girls on the subway

By: Jennifer Dziura (C)
Submitted: Jan 16, 2007
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Weight Loss

237 Jokes  3 Videos


New York twittered at news that skinny girls who faint from extreme dieting are the cause of a substantial number of subway delays. A representative from pro-anorexia website Gossamer Butterfly Self-Cutting Death Princess says "People with no legs slow down the bus all the time, and you don't hear anyone getting on their case about it."

 


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