A judge in Washington ruled that paper money is unfair to blind people.

What he didn't see is being blind is unfair to blind people.

 
President Bush announced today there would be no Premature Pullout of Iraq
“We are here to screw Iraqi’s for along time.”

Things you can only say at Thanksgiving!
  
  1. Talk about a huge breast!
  2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
  3. It's Cool Whip time!
  4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
  5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
  6. I'm in the mood for dark meat.
  7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
  8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
  9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some.
  10. Don't play with your meat.
  11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
  12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
  13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
  14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
  15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
  16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
  17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
  18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
  19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?

Recently our government did a study to see how much porn was on the internet. 

And surprisingly every single one of their favorite lists came up in as internet porn.

Does anyone realize how hard it is to learn the english language, with all of the different sounds and pronounciations, and words that sound the same but meanings are completly different

 The 49ers have finally have had enough of the San Fransico lifestyle and have decided to play elsewhere in hopes that the team will stop playing like a bunch of pansies.

 I was reading that in Australia you can buy a cup of coffee made out of special coffee beans for $50.
And you my be thinking what makes this beans so special? Are they rare beans?
They aren't rare beans, they are deficated beans. You heard me right? Coffee Beans that are harvested from feces.

Someone actually got the idea to pick coffee beans from the poop of a wild animal that eats the coffee beans, then roast'em, then grind'em, and then drink it.

Like coffee didn't taste like shit already.

In New York you can now change your gender on your birth certificate. If you no longer feel like being the sex you were born as, change it to whatever makes you more comfortable, which in turn makes the person sitting next to you on the subway more uncomfortable.

This also looks like it can open the backdoor to gay marriage as well.

 
"The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality. And I take responsibility for the entire problem. I am a deceiver and a liar. There's a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life,"