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Registered on: 12/10/06
Location:
URL: http://www.dailycomedy.com/u/HabibaSahznar
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Biography:
Who says Muslim women can't be funny? A lot of you people, apparently!\Well, I'm here to prove you wrong because I'm friggin funny...
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Page Views: 425
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Jokes: 54
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Videos: 0
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Fans: 1
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The top U.S. military officer, Gen. Peter Pace, said Tuesday he should have focused more on military policy and less on his own opinion when he told a newspaper homosexual acts are immoral.
Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told the Chicago Tribune on Monday that he supports the "don't ask, don't tell" policy banning openly gay people from serving in the U.S. armed forces.
"All I'm saying, is that they shouldn't be so open about it." asserted the forthright general, adding "When I take it up the ass, I don't ask and I don't tell."
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Hilary Clinton, when asked, about Ann Coulter's comments about fellow Democratic Presidential candidate John Edwards, was quoted as saying, "that's exactly the sort of name calling I'd expect from that cunt."
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Dick Cheney's former chief of staff Lewis "Scooter" Libby has been found guilty on two counts of perjury, two counts of obstruction, and one count of having a twattish nickname.
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According to Ms. Spears publicist Rhianne Otley, the new hairdo was another example of Britney's kindness. Ms Otley said, "The late night talk show host were running out of jokes. This is Britney's way of giving back."
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 Astronaut Lisa Nowak Tuesday was ordered released on an additional $10,000 bond for an attempted murder charge involving a romantic rival.
Nowak, 43, had earlier posted a $15,500 bond on charges of attempted kidnapping, battery and attempted burglary of a car with battery. But, her release was halted as Orlando Police brought the attempted murder charge.
The discovery of a wig and a plastic bag containing a fingerprint laden carbon dioxide-powered BB pistol in a nearby trash can justified the charge of attempted murder.
Inside a bag Nowak was carrying, the officers found a tan trench coat, a steel mallet, a folding knife, 3 to 4 feet of rubber tubing, and several large plastic garbage bags- or to use the official NASA term- a space shuttle repair kit.
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Eight days after former Playmate Anna Nicole Smith died, a Florida judge signed an order to have her refrigerated remains embalmed.
"As she was in life, so shall she be in death," Judge Larry Seidlin said.
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Former New York City Mayor and GOP presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani will speak at Pat Robertson's Regent University in April, the school announced Thursday.
The news comes a day after it was announced that former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, one of Giuliani's chief rivals for the Republican presidential nomination, will deliver Regent's commencement address on May 5.
Giuliani will be the featured speaker at the University's Executive Leadership Series on April 17. The forum will be available to both Regent students and members of the community, according to Regent spokeswoman Sherri Stocks.
"Having provided strong leadership during critical times uniquely qualifies Mayor Rudy Giuliani to speak to Regent students and local community members," Stocks told CNN, adding "and having no qualms about hypocricy uniquely qualifies him to kiss Pat Robertson's ass."
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 The former male prostitute whose accusations against New Life Church founder Ted Haggard led to Haggard's dismissal as pastor has paid a visit to the megachurch.
Mike Jones, who has a forthcoming book, told The Denver Post that several people shook his hand during the visit Sunday and told him, "God bless you."
"I had read a lot about the church, but there's nothing like seeing it for yourself," Jones told the paper. "Not to mention the fact that I managed to sell 3 ounces of crystal meth and made $1800 giving blowjobs in the parking lot."
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 One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is "completely heterosexual."
Haggard also said his sexual contact with men was limited to the former male prostitute who came forward with sexual allegations, the Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur told The Denver Post for a story in Tuesday's edition.
"He certainly sucks cock like a heterosexual," Ralph said.
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Scissors, anyone?
