A man unsuccessfully tried to smuggle lizards through airport customs by tying them to his chest.   However, a woman did slip through customs with two boobies on her chest.

UC's basketball  players would have joined the protest, but they couldn't find the classroom buildings.

In related news, Joan Rivers cancels big Democratic fund raiser.  

And Larry King was named "sexiest man not alive."

Richie was visited by her friend Paris Hilton who coincidentally has also spent lots of time flat on her back.

The doctor slapped the baby and then he slapped Cheney to restart his heart.

In lieu of a traditional baptism, the child will be waterboarded. 

Sarah Palin was upset by a Newsweek cover that showed her wearing a skimpy outfit.  John McCain was also upset--that Palin didn't wear that outfit on the campaign trail.

In annual survey, Afghanistan was second only to Illinois.

Police said trespassing charges would not be filed against Rosie O'Donnell.