I've got pneumonia and arthritis,

asthma, diverticulitis,

measles, mumps and whooping cough,

kidney stones, my liver's soft,

trichinosis and thrombosis,

not to mention some neurosis,

headaches and post-nasal drip,

I fell down stairs and broke my hip,

ingrown toenail and the gout,

ran with scissors, poked an eye out,

acid reflux, fallen arches,

doctor says to eat no starches,

glass eye with astigmatism,

can't go dancing – got no rhythm,

anaphylaxis, splitting migraines,

sympathetic labor pains…

… but other than that, I can't complain. How are you?

Astronomers in Prague today have decided Pluto is no longer a planet.  In related news, producers in Hollywood have decided Tom Cruise is no longer a star.