Ann having a blast at the Whiter Shade of Pale Diversity Day Picnic in her hometown of New Canaan, Connecticut. [more]

Author: Edward Ayres
Category: Political
Keywords: ann coulter right-wing politics liberals
Added: Sat, 3 Mar 2007

"It feels good. If this statue had a penis it would feel even better." [more]

Author: Edward Ayres
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: scorcese oscars actors celebrity
Added: Mon, 26 Feb 2007

The U.S. Military today launched the USS Gerald R. Ford a new warship honoring the recently deceased former President. Fittingly, it is the only ship in the U.S. fleet with a bump on its bow.  [more]

Author: Edward Ayres
Category: News
Keywords: president gerald ford warship launch department defense pentagon political humor satire
Added: Wed, 17 Jan 2007

Governor Arnold Schwarzengger signed a bill ordering a 20% reduction of carbon emissions in California by using alternative fuels such as cellulose fiber. If they'd use celluloid fiber instead they could double it just by burning unused copies of Terminator 3. [more]

Author: Edward Ayres
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: arnold schwarzenegger environment alternative fuels california
Added: Thu, 11 Jan 2007

The current Miss USA scandal has brought out the softer side of the Donald, with Trump saying that he believes in second chances. And why shouldn't we believe him? After all, his hair belonged to someone else and it's getting a second chance. [more]

Author: Edward Ayres
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: donald trump miss usa tara conner scandal
Added: Thu, 21 Dec 2006

Good news and bad news for Tara Conner, the current Miss USA and party girl, today. The good news: Donald Trump says she may keep her crown if she attends rehab and submits to random drug testing. The bad news: Trump wants to watch her pee in the cup. [more]

Author: Edward Ayres
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: miss usa donald trump scandal
Added: Thu, 21 Dec 2006

 The Chinese restaurant industry is circling the wagons and prepared to take a big hit if they follow through with their threat to stop all late-night food deliveries to Rosie O’Donnell’s New York City apartment. The Chinese are chagrined about O’Donnell’s joke about how the drunken Dan DiVito appearance on the The View was reported in China as, “Ching-chong, ching, ching, chong....Danny DiVito.” The bicycle and paper bag industries are urging calm, asking their restaurant customers to reconsider their boycott as it will cause massive “rayoffs around the busy horiday season.” [more]

Author: Edward Ayres
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Sat, 16 Dec 2006

The 41.7 inch long arms of Bao Xishun, the world’s tallest man, reached in and saved two dolphins by pulling plastic from their stomachs. Surgical attempts at removal had failed so veterinarians decided to ask for help from the 7-foot-9-inch herdsman from Inner Mongolia. Bao refused to interviewed for this story, saying through a spokesman from Outer Mongolia that he had to get to bed early because tomorrow he was giving himself a colonoscopy. [more]

Author: Edward Ayres
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Sat, 16 Dec 2006

"New Hampshire people," explained Gov. John Lynch, a Democrat, "don't know much about him other than he points well and he's sort of black. Each visit he makes progress. For instance, we didn't know that he was actually born in Hawaii. He scored big points with the crowd when he told his security detail to silence the only Republican in the room by shouting, "Book 'em, Dano. He also displayed his playful side and sang Tiny Bubbles backwards, then threw a blunt of Hawaiian Gold out into the audience. [more]

Author: Edward Ayres
Category: Political
Keywords:
Added: Wed, 13 Dec 2006

Worried that his botched joke has blown his Presidential ambitions, John Kerry will emcee this weekend at Open Mic Iraq. "You've got to break them in on the road," said the Massachusetts senator, "I've got some killer windsurfing stuff to try for these dentally-challenged goobers." [more]

Author: Edward Ayres
Category: Political
Keywords:
Added: Wed, 13 Dec 2006

CENTRALIA, Wash. - Esther Medley, 94, of Centralia, is legally blind, but bowled a 244. Her 86-year-old husband Ralph tells her which pins are left after her first ball. That's how Medley recently bowled a score of 244, which included eight strikes, at Fairway Lanes in Centralia. It was the second-highest score of the year for her league.Unfortunately, the strikes were not on her alley, said scorer and grandson, Jose Feliciano. "These two are an inspiration to sightless people everywhere." The couple has also developed a system of Braille Bowling but won't reveal how they control the ball as it travels over the little bumps on the alley as there is a patent pending. [more]

Author: Edward Ayres
Category: Sports
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 1 Dec 2006