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Edward Ayres
Edward Ayres


Norwalk, CT

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Views: 735     |     Jokes: 11     |     Videos: 1     |     Comments: 0     |     DailyComedy Fans: 2
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Edward Ayres
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Ann Coulter Diversity Picnic

By: Edward Ayres (C)
Submitted: Mar 3, 2007
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Ann Coulter

37 Jokes

Ann Coulter Diversity PicnicAnn having a blast at the Whiter Shade of Pale Diversity Day Picnic in her hometown of New Canaan, Connecticut.

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Edward Ayres
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Finally, it's Marty!

By: Edward Ayres (C)
Submitted: Feb 26, 2007
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Dirty Mouth

2100 Jokes  60 Videos

Finally, it's Marty!"It feels good. If this statue had a penis it would feel even better."

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Edward Ayres
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U.S. Military Launches New Warship Honoring Dead Former President

By: Edward Ayres (C)
Submitted: Jan 17, 2007
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Automaker

219 Jokes  8 Videos



The U.S. Military today launched the USS Gerald R. Ford a new warship honoring the recently deceased former President. Fittingly, it is the only ship in the U.S. fleet with a bump on its bow.

 


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Edward Ayres
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Schwarzenegger Transition to Tree Hugger Complete

By: Edward Ayres (C)
Submitted: Jan 11, 2007
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Arnold Schwarzenegger

39 Jokes  3 Videos





Governor Arnold Schwarzengger signed a bill ordering a 20% reduction of carbon emissions in California by using alternative fuels such as cellulose fiber. If they'd use celluloid fiber instead they could double it just by burning unused copies of Terminator 3.


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Edward Ayres
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Trump Believes in Second Chances

By: Edward Ayres (C)
Submitted: Dec 21, 2006
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Donald Trump

37 Jokes



The current Miss USA scandal has brought out the softer side of the Donald, with Trump saying that he believes in second chances. And why shouldn't we believe him? After all, his hair belonged to someone else and it's getting a second chance.


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Edward Ayres
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Mixed Outcome for Miss USA

By: Edward Ayres (C)
Submitted: Dec 21, 2006
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Donald Trump

37 Jokes








Good news and bad news for Tara Conner, the current Miss USA and party girl, today. The good news: Donald Trump says she may keep her crown if she attends rehab and submits to random drug testing. The bad news: Trump wants to watch her pee in the cup.


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Edward Ayres
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Chinese Cut Off Food Deliveries to Rosie O'Donnell

By: Edward Ayres (C)
Submitted: Dec 16, 2006
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Rosie O'Donnell

69 Jokes

 The Chinese restaurant industry is circling the wagons and prepared to take a big hit if they follow through with their threat to stop all late-night food deliveries to Rosie O’Donnell’s New York City apartment. The Chinese are chagrined about O’Donnell’s joke about how the drunken Dan DiVito appearance on the The View was reported in China as, “Ching-chong, ching, ching, chong....Danny DiVito.” The bicycle and paper bag industries are urging calm, asking their restaurant customers to reconsider their boycott as it will cause massive “rayoffs around the busy horiday season.”


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Edward Ayres
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China: Tallest Man to the Rescue of Dolphins

By: Edward Ayres (C)
Submitted: Dec 16, 2006
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

China

307 Jokes  8 Videos

The 41.7 inch long arms of Bao Xishun, the world’s tallest man, reached in and saved two dolphins by pulling plastic from their stomachs. Surgical attempts at removal had failed so veterinarians decided to ask for help from the 7-foot-9-inch herdsman from Inner Mongolia. Bao refused to interviewed for this story, saying through a spokesman from Outer Mongolia that he had to get to bed early because tomorrow he was giving himself a colonoscopy.


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Edward Ayres
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N.H. Voters Say Obama Must Visit More

By: Edward Ayres (C)
Submitted: Dec 13, 2006
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Barack Obama

882 Jokes  28 Videos

N.H. Voters Say Obama Must Visit More


"New Hampshire people," explained Gov. John Lynch, a Democrat, "don't know much about him other than he points well and he's sort of black. Each visit he makes progress. For instance, we didn't know that he was actually born in Hawaii. He scored big points with the crowd when he told his security detail to silence the only Republican in the room by shouting, "Book 'em, Dano. He also displayed his playful side and sang Tiny Bubbles backwards, then threw a blunt of Hawaiian Gold out into the audience.


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Edward Ayres
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John Kerry to Emcee Open Mic in Iraq

By: Edward Ayres (C)
Submitted: Dec 13, 2006
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

John Kerry

31 Jokes  1 Videos







Worried that his botched joke has blown his Presidential ambitions, John Kerry will emcee this weekend at Open Mic Iraq. "You've got to break them in on the road," said the Massachusetts senator, "I've got some killer windsurfing stuff to try for these dentally-challenged goobers."




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Biography
Ed Ayres is like the crazy, off-beat uncle you had as kid and couldn't believe that he and your father were brothers. His constant rejection of the status quo and irritating questions to those in authority as a kid...OK, as an adult too, predisposed him to the life of a comedian. He is an intelligent and insightful critic of popular culture and current events, family relationships, and a survivor of a long-term marriage. Ed began his stage career as a wise-ass, professional drummer. This led to [more]
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