Dick Cheney said that torture works. "We were able to get the winning numbers to SuperLotto thereby lowering our deficit, and paying for the turbo option to my pacemaker."

Alaska's volcano erupted numerous times during the last week, to which Gov. Sarah Palin cried out: "Oh, thank God my daughter's not a virgin!"

Whistle blower at the National Security Agency reveals that the Bush administration targeted journalist for 24 hours/7days a week surveillance of E-mails, phones calls, and other transmissions.

Bush sure went to a lot of trouble. There are other methods he could've use, such as: Watching the news on TV, or grabbing a newspaper!

I was able to get my hands on George Bush’s farewell speech, which he will give on his last day in office. It goes like this:

“My fellow Americans.

My bad.

Good luck everybody!”