The best thing about losing a fist fight is the following days and weeks as you sign up the victor to every spam website you know, mail him tuperware boxes full of worms, stalk his family and then find out where his mother does her shopping and burn the store to the ground because then you may sit back and watch him slowly realize, that yes, he just picked on the wrong fucking coward! [more]

Author: Colin Dempsey
Category: Weird
Keywords: coward
Added: Mon, 2 Jul 2007

Heather Mills, ex wife of former beatle Paul McCartney claims that she was beaten and abused by him over the course of their marraige. Ms. Mills, pictured below, stated that she will never allow herself to be that foolish again. [more]

Author: Colin Dempsey
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: paul mccartney
Added: Mon, 2 Apr 2007

British Royal, Prince Harry has been deployed to Iraq as a tank commander. It has been reported that he will be kept away from dangerous areas, assigned a round the clock SAS protection squad and have a minimal tour of duty. On his off time he has been seen in the mess hall completing Rubix Cubes by peeling the stickers off and reapplying them to the correct locations and beating other soldiers at a game he invented called "Connect Two" in which he always goes first. Prince Harry was quoted as saying "The one thing I miss about England is my favorite past time of shooting barrels full of fish" [more]

Author: Colin Dempsey
Category: News
Keywords: prince harry
Added: Tue, 27 Feb 2007

After production was cancelled in 2002 Chevrolet decided to bring back the Camaro as they discovered that New Jersey Guido's had not gone away [more]

Author: Colin Dempsey
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Mon, 18 Dec 2006

Below are Images of people who chill me to the bone, these captions are what they are saying to me in my mind   "Im going to shoot myself out of a cannon and into your nightmares. Then I`m gonna fuck you up" "Of course your going to die! The rabit told me so!!"    "This wig covers my exposed worm ridden brain! Thats how I control what you do" "You like card tricks? Heres one...AAAaaarrggh!!!!Die!!!" "If I paralyzed you with hypnoses, which I can do by the way. This bird would eat you in a matter of weeks, but you would die and stop feeling pain near the end of the first" [more]

Author: Colin Dempsey
Category: News
Keywords: clowns amp; magicians
Added: Fri, 1 Dec 2006

"Give in to the dark side and Racist you will become" Laugh! You know you want to! [more]

Author: Colin Dempsey
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Wed, 29 Nov 2006

"I am the Jim Gaffigan of Paranormal Phenomena" Charles Buntz is currently dazzling the nation with his powers to communicate to the dead through food. A gift he realized he had when he was just 12 years old after staring at a Creme Brulee for 20 minutes at a french restaurant. "I just want to make people happy, not many people know this but Jesus himself often communicated with his father through a Fig". Buntz also claims that Tofurkey and Bananas are a favorite due to the best connection and fewer dropped calls.   [more]

Author: Colin Dempsey
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Sat, 25 Nov 2006

An Officer and a Gentleman...and a Donkey and a Midget and a Transsexual Movie Summary: Boy meets girl, girl was really a confused boy but then the first boy was actually found through DNA testing to be a girl so it worked out okay. They perform a multitude of sexually horrific acts upon the other, one almost dies but doesnt, the other wants to die but then has orgasm but will die later anyway. A penis shaped vagina drives a dildo shaped car through a wall of limbless hermaphrodites before exploding into fallopian tubes Film ends when lead character "Rock Hard" finds time machine and travels back in time so he can masturbate while watching himself in the third person perform the debauchery as described above. Moral of the movie: Don’t respect women or make a commitment because there will always be something better around the corner and grass has been scientifically proven to be greener elsewhere [more]

Author: Colin Dempsey
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Mon, 6 Nov 2006

I have come to the conclusion after seeing my neighbors decorate their houses for Halloween that Pumpkins are the angriest of all the vegetables Chillout!!! Of all the Cururbita Cucubitaceae I know, your the most delicious...as a soup OR as a seasonal Ale!! [more]

Author: Colin Dempsey
Category: News
Keywords: pumpkins
Added: Fri, 3 Nov 2006

News: October 31st, 2006 [more]

Author: Colin Dempsey
Category: News
Keywords: news
Added: Wed, 1 Nov 2006

[more]

Author: Colin Dempsey
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Tue, 24 Oct 2006

Dyslexic shoppers all around the world freak out. Ikea share's drop as they predict record losses this quarter [more]

Author: Colin Dempsey
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Tue, 10 Oct 2006

Items topping the list are metal badge polish, shoe lifts, red trouser stripes and extra small condoms ...and Orthopedic Shoes [more]

Author: Colin Dempsey
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Tue, 10 Oct 2006

I just turned Thirty today and was informed by my Roommate that in dog years I`d be dead! I have now begun counting backwards to the below event   [more]

Author: Colin Dempsey
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Mon, 9 Oct 2006

Tabby, pictured above in the process of being being stuffed and mounted , passed away this morning to the mild dismay of its homosexual owners. When reached for comment they replied "What, Tabby or the musical?? like whatever and stuff!!" Note: I know I could have done something with "Homosexual Owners" and "Stuffed and Mounted" but chose not to. The headless kitten (See Below) is bad enough. [more]

Author: Colin Dempsey
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Tue, 3 Oct 2006