The New York Yankees won the World Series after a 8-year World Series drought, despite having the biggest payroll of any MLB team.

To improve on their already heavy hitting roster (hadn't the Yankee's won), owner George Steinbrenner (accurately portrayed in tv's Seinfeld as a greedy, insane person), was ready to buy the high-scoring 1954 National League All-Star Team.

Promoting his new movie Capitalism: A Love Story (Oct 16), quasi filmmaker Michael Moore said in a Wolf Blitzer interview that "the economy [should] be controlled by the majority and not the wealthiest one percent."

He continued: "...and that's why I've agreed with 'the majority' to tax my box office grosses to help out with the needy... [thick laughter] I'm just kidding."

Moore concluded, talking to a wad of money, "no, I was just kidding, money. Soon, my pretties, I'll have more of you. More to cover my naked butt with!"

Ellen DeGeneres is set to replace Paula Abdul on American Idol.

In preparation to fill Abdul's shoes, DeGeneres is training hard with a steady diet of schnaps, NyQuil, Sudafed, and binge drinking pamphlets.

Kanye West appeared on Leno's new NBC show to apologize for interrupting Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech.

Kanye, incredibly confused, apologized for his outburst, but still believes that "Obama Care" will ensure illegal immigrants.

Transformers star Megan Fox said in a recent interview that director Michael Bay "wants to be like Hitler on his sets" and that he "has no social skills."

According to Fox, Bay's biggest social inadequacies are "screaming at the crew in German. Invading Poland. And the purifying! Again with the purifying!"

Congressman Joe Wilson shouted "You lie" after Obama said in an address that illegal immigrants wouldn't be ensured.

"That needs to be put in context," Joe Wilson said, after the speech. "I was actually cut off by a constituent. The full comment was intended to be positive. What I was trying to say was 'You lie... with one of the hottest First Ladies, ever.'"

Far-Right commentator Glenn Beck lost 11 more advertisers due to his incendiary comments about the president.

However, Beck still has loyal sponsors, one of them being, Jiminy Glick presents: Glenn Beck's Face Thickening/Whiting Cream. 

Lady Gaga and Michael Bolton will team up on Bolton's upcoming album, One World One Love.

Bolton says that "between the two of us, I think we'll find just the right mix of mediocre and bland." 

University of Oregon's LeGarrette Blount punched and knocked down a Boise State player last Thursday, despite a symbolic handshake designed to start off the season in good sportsmanship.

In related news: struggling Ultimate Fighter's everywhere -- for good luck -- are demanding that each match start with a symbolic handshake. 

The Walt Disney company is buying Marvel Comics for 4 billion dollars.

Wolverine, the beefy, runt from the X-Men, was upset to hear that he will now be the eighth Dwarf, "Husky."