DailyComedy Links:    Home    Jokes    Videos    LateNet    Hot Topics    Comedy Store    Forum        Sign In | Sign Up
Did you know? We now allow guest commenting and rating on all our jokes and comedy videos! No need to register, just comment and rate. Go ahead... knock yourself out! Underneath each joke and video you can click on comments to read and post, and click on a star () to rate.

Chris Martin
Chris Martin
"No Bono"

Richmond, VA

You are here
Views: 2437     |     Jokes: 106     |     Videos: 5     |     Comments: 0     |     DailyComedy Fans: 3
Newest Video

 Comments (1) | Rate It: 
Latest Jokes  
  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ...11  Next Page

Chris Martin
Visit My Profile
Latest death row inmate chooses electric chair

By: Chris Martin (C)
Submitted: Nov 20, 2009
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Health Care

91 Jokes

Latest death row inmate chooses electric chair

In Virginia, death row inmates get to choose between execution by electric chair or lethal injection. This limited number of choices reflects poorly on the state's creativity. How about death by fireworks, where the criminal is zapped by fireworks from Lady Gaga's bra? Or how about death by boredom, where a prisoner is forced to read the entire 2,000 page House of Representatives health care bill? (Oops, we forgot that "cruel and unusual punishment" is ruled out by the Eighth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.)


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Chris Martin
Visit My Profile
Having visited the Great Wall of China

By: Chris Martin (C)
Submitted: Nov 19, 2009
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

China

307 Jokes  8 Videos

Having visited the Great Wall of China

Barack Obama goes home to the big butt of Michelle Obama.


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Chris Martin
Visit My Profile
I'm not going to see "2012"

By: Chris Martin (C)
Submitted: Nov 18, 2009
Category: Entertainment  

I'm not going to see

I'm waiting for the sequel.


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Chris Martin
Visit My Profile
Supreme Court refuses Redskins trademark case

By: Chris Martin (C)
Submitted: Nov 18, 2009
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Washington Redskins

20 Jokes

Supreme Court refuses Redskins trademark case

The Supreme Court has refused to hear a case by Native Americans who consider the football team's name to be racist. Why don't the Redskins change their name to something more accurate and less offensive like the DC Colored People or the Washington Negroes?


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Chris Martin
Visit My Profile
The economy's in terrible shape

By: Chris Martin (C)
Submitted: Nov 18, 2009
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Economy

497 Jokes  5 Videos

The economy's in terrible shape

How bad is the economy? The economy's so bad that 50 Cent changed his name to 25 Cent.


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Chris Martin
Visit My Profile
Bob Dylan's Christmas album

By: Chris Martin (C)
Submitted: Nov 17, 2009
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Bob Dylan

15 Jokes  1 Videos

Bob Dylan's Christmas album

Includes an updated version of a holiday classic, "I'm dreaming of a Sammy Sosa Christmas."


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Chris Martin
Visit My Profile
I'm not going to see "2012"

By: Chris Martin (C)
Submitted: Nov 14, 2009
Category: Entertainment  

I'm not going to see

I'm going to wait until "2020" when all the Lasik machines will go beserk and burn everyone's eyes out.


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Chris Martin
Visit My Profile
Talk about finding a needle in a haystack...

By: Chris Martin (C)
Submitted: Nov 12, 2009
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

China

307 Jokes  8 Videos

Talk about finding a needle in a haystack...

Chinese police are looking for over two million defective condoms.


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Chris Martin
Visit My Profile
I have a problem with spree and lone wolf killers

By: Chris Martin (C)
Submitted: Nov 10, 2009
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Lottery

27 Jokes  1 Videos

I have a problem with spree and lone wolf killers

There's never one around when you need one. If spree killers shot people who really deserved it, they'd be a lot more popular. You're standing in line on your lunch hour to deposit your paycheck at the bank behind a little old lady who doesn't speak English who's trying to transfer her life savings to a relative in a remote mountain village in Kazahkstan that doesn't have a phone – or a bank. That's when you really need a lone wolf killer to make a deposit – of a cap in her ass. Next customer!

 

You're waiting in line at the 7-11 on a Friday night. All you want to do is buy a six pack, go home and watch “Washington Week in Review” but the guy in front of you is buying 200 lottery tickets. I got your winning number right here: 357.

 

Or you're in the checkout lane at the grocery store and the woman in front of you wants a price check on crab meat. Hey, bitch, it's crab meat. It's supposed to be expensive. Blam, blam, blam. Cleanup in aisle three.


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Chris Martin
Visit My Profile
But I already have a set of biodegradable balls...

By: Chris Martin (C)
Submitted: Nov 10, 2009
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

CNN

154 Jokes  11 Videos

But I already have a set of biodegradable balls...

Inadvertent joke of the day: UK legislator Patrick Harvie in a CNN story about the environmental impact on golf balls: "Keep your balls on the fairway or invest in a stock of biodegradable balls."


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:
  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ...11  Next Page
Sponsored By
Upcoming Gigs
No events in schedule.
Biography
Chris Martin started doing stand-up comedy this year and has performed in open mic nights at Sticky Rice and Cafe Diem in Richmond, VA. He's also been the emcee for the Super Friends Camp at the New York Deli and been the stand-up comedian at the Paradox Comedy improv groups Halloween show, "Motel Hell."
There are currently no comments.

Leave the first one!
Pictures
Hot mic
DailyComedy Fans
DailyComedy Favorites