an 18 year old high school senior was found dead in his home in portland oregon. authorities say that the cause of death was due to a gun shot wound to the head. officials go on to explain that this was not a case of suicide merely an accident, as the 18 year old boy had smoked pot, taken a few shots of vodka, and decided to play russian roulette by himself.

let this be a lesson to all the kids out there. never mix your drugs and alcohol with math. [more]

Author: Brent Dawson
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Tue, 12 Aug 2008

An Arlington Texas mega-church, near where I live, canceled a scheduled memorial service for a Navy veteran 24 hours before it was to start because the deceased was gay.

The church’s pastor, the Rev. Gary Simons, said no one knew Sinclair, who was not a church member, was gay until the day before the Thursday service, when staff members putting together his video tribute saw pictures of men “engaging in clear affection, kissing and embracing.”

Simons said the church believes homosexuality is a sin, and it would have appeared to endorse that lifestyle if the service had been held there.

That's beautiful. And I can totally see his point. After all, if the church went ahead and performed the ceremony, the church would have been filled with a bunch of well defined men in assless pants and enormous cowboy hats. What kind of message would that send to the kids? If the church allowed that to happen, next thing you know, little Johnny would lock himself in the bathroom looking at pictures of David Hasselhoff without his shirt on. He would start plucking his eyebrows and hassling his parents to allow him to join jazz dance classes and change his name to Tad, not to mention day dreaming about a career as a flight attendant or a wedding planner.

And it wouldn't stop there. If they allowed "gays" into the church to mourn one of there own, they would start pointing out all the design flaws in the sanctuary, everyone would start singing along to ABBA tunes; not to mention the likelihood that Rosie shows up.

How could the Lord ever be pleased with such a display? People coming together to celebrate the value of another human being? Sharing stories of the mark this man has left as a friend, family member, soldier, patriot, general member of the human race in good standing... God surely wouldn't want to be closely aligned to values like that. I mean what kind of example would that set? Caring for another person regardless of their demographic? Supporting the grieving process of family members and friends? Going the extra mile for people who are different than you? Thats just not christian. [more]

Author: Brent Dawson
Category: Blogs
Keywords: religion gay homosexual soldier arlington texas brentdawson
Added: Mon, 13 Aug 2007

The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released a study that points out that 64% of high school students engage in binge drinking.  Binge drinking is defined by the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism  as a pattern of drinking that brings a person’s blood alcohol concentration to at least 0.08 percent or just slightly higher than the average high school student's grade point average. [more]

Author: Brent Dawson
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Wed, 3 Jan 2007

A mother has recently been fighting to ban the popular Harry Potter book series from the Gwinett School System school libraries stating "the kind of stuff in these books is a subtle indoctrination based on themes like murder and greed and violence.  Why do they have to read them in school?"   She then added, "If we wanted our children to learn that stuff, we would just read them the Bible." [more]

Author: Brent Dawson
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 15 Dec 2006

On the heals of a career ending gay-sex scandal, sources report that minister Ted Haggard checked himself into a treatment center ideally suited to address his particular needs.  [more]

Author: Brent Dawson
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Wed, 29 Nov 2006

Quick help me find my helmet.  The short bus just pulled up outside. [more]

Author: Brent Dawson
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Tue, 7 Nov 2006

Ted Haggard, former president of the National Association of Evangelicals who resigned in disgrace over allegations of gay sex and use of methanphetamines, stated in a press release early on November 5 that he had no choice but to admit that he was guilty of sexual immorality when this photo of his bedroom suit was leaked to the AP.         [more]

Author: Brent Dawson
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Tue, 7 Nov 2006

well this is usually my favorite month of the year and not just because its ford truck month, but because it is traditionally the apex of hurricane season.  i look forward to this every year, because pat robertson always finds a way to mistakenly blame a category 3 on a bunch of homosexuals.  i'm here to set the record straight.  homosexuals do not cause hurricanes...the jews do.  [more]

Author: Brent Dawson
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 3 Nov 2006

why do i always get stuck at the kiddie's table every thanksgiving? [more]

Author: Brent Dawson
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 3 Nov 2006

  [more]

Author: Brent Dawson
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 29 Sep 2006

Chapter 1:  Buy a Corvette (and since you're Asian, hire a driver) Chapter 2:  Keep a collection of Dave Matthews CD's on hand Chapter 3:  Act really interested in her ratty notebook full of poems Chapter 4:  Lose every argument Chapter 5:  Practice sleeping on athe very edge of the bed Chapter 6:  Win the lottery Chapter 7:  Make sure your bed has about 20 pillows for no real reason Chapter 8:  Develop an appreciation for rearranging furniture Chapter 9:  Buy lots of tupperware, candles, and other products from her imaginary store   [more]

Author: Brent Dawson
Category: Sports
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 28 Sep 2006

maybe i'll just sweat it out instead. [more]

Author: Brent Dawson
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 28 Sep 2006

If you are wearing these....STOP!  These uninspired, Italianesque, neon, quasi-rubber soft-cell pieces of crap were never and are not now CUTE!!!!  If you are one of these brain dead sheep, marching goose-step with these garish advertisements to mass insanity strapped to your feet, then you need to have your legs severed at the ankles.  You don't know how to use yours correctly.  You should donate yours to amputees.  Just give them to someone who knows how to value a good pair of feet.  Did you not learn your lesson during the whole Jellies debacle of the late 80's?  But, Brent they're soooooooo comforable and good on my lower back.    Yeah, well so are massages, but you don't see me walking around with a long skinny table and a Korean woman strapped to my back.  Thats because I have this thing called taste.  I have this thing called discernment.   I have this thing called the Tiddies fad from the mid 80's to live down. I say the time has finally arrived for you and I to take a stand.  To say NO!!  I will not be party to another catastrophe like parachute pants.  I need you to stand up on your desks and shout "I WILL NOT BE DUPED BY THE LIKES OF LEGWARMERS AND PAT BENETAR HEADBANDS!"  I am talking about banding together in a union of brotherly love to fight back against empirical forces that compel us to find a baby sitter for our Cabbage Patch Kids. So unless you are a hairy toe-knuckled lesbian munching on granola in the foothills of Montana, cast off your Tevas.     Release yourself from the shackles of the WWJD pushing evildoers!!!  Resist listening to Coldplay, regardless of how hard they try to push punk bands that sound a little poppy.  Kick your computer evertime Paris Hilton blows another guy in front of a camera crew.  For they can take our lives, but they can never take OUR FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Come.  Who will be the Rosa Parks to my little revolution?   [more]

Author: Brent Dawson
Category: Blogs
Keywords:
Added: Mon, 25 Sep 2006

It never ceases to amaze me what a loving, nurturing environment can mean for our children.  [more]

Author: Brent Dawson
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Mon, 25 Sep 2006

President Bush fell under the ire of oft disgruntled and whiny comedians Jay Davis, Robert Kelly, Gary Gullman and Dane Cook during a pancake breakfast/paint ball expedition where he announced that he would ask congress for their support in launching a tourgasm regime change.  White House spokesperson Tony Snow reported that though the President received a shiner due to an errant blow to the face when Gary Gullman was flailing his arms like a little girl while tantruming about his oatmeal having too many raisins, this would not deter him from launching his pre-emptive war plans against a show devoted to comedy with no punchlines.  [more]

Author: Brent Dawson
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Wed, 13 Sep 2006