I can't wait to see what's under it! 

 Paul McCartney dedicated a few songs last night which I thought was nice. He sang songs for his pals George Harrison and John Lennon then dedicated My Love to Linda but the song that brought a tear to my eye was a new one he dedicated to Heather "Die you money hungry selfish bitch!"

After being voted off the popular TV show Dancing With The Stars former NY Giants Defensive back Lawrence Taylor sacked the shows host Tom Bergeron, The judges immediately gave LT a perfect score of 30 points for his ensuing "Sack Dance!" 

NBC Today Show star Matt Lauer suffered a broken collar bone in a collision while riding a bicycle with a deer. The Deer being represented by Ron Kuby has filed suit against NBC, Matt Lauer. 

The economy is so bad......

A hooker asked to borrow $100 until she can get back on her back! 

Crews cleaning up after last nights Rockin New Years Eve party in Times Square came across 47 new statues. Upon closer inspection it was discovered the statues were actually 47 New Years Eve Revelers that had become frozen solid. 

 Governor Rod Blagojevich and his chief of staff, John Harris, were arrested Tuesday for what U.S. Atty. Patrick Fitzgerald called a "political corruption crime spree" that included attempts to sell the U.S. Senate seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama. The corruption was first noticed after authorities were notified that Governor Blagojevich listed the Senate Seat for sale on E-bay

 Last year for Christmas my loving wife gave me a $1,200 set of Ping Golf clubs. In January my credit card bill listed $1,200 for golf clubs! 

 A 2,700-year-old marijuana stash discovered

The 789 grams of dried cannabis was buried in a tomb near Turpan in northwestern China. Also discoverd in the same tomb was Tommy Chongs first bong.