I just got back from China, where I met a boy named Hsu.

It doesn't mean they'll be teaching homosexuality in public schools. You'll still have to experiment with it in college like we all did.

For the first time since Jackie Kennedy, the First Lady will be smokin' hot. A FLILF.

Dividing voters into "Red State" vs. "Blue State" is passe. Now its people who say "nuclear" vs. people who say "nucular." Ohio is still a swing state.

I went to a nudist beach in Atlantic City and ended up with hermit crabs. 

VILLANUEVA DE LA CONCEPCION, Spain - A 65-year-old retired bullfighter who had knee replacement and quadruple bypass surgery strutted back into the ring Sunday and won two trophies — the ears of the beast he had just slain.

 The 75-year-old bull had had knee and hip replacement and double quintuple bypass surgery.

An hour later I want to watch more Olympics.