"My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad," premieres on NBC. Dads and children take part in challenges to win money and bragging rights.

Due to the strong nature of father and child bonding, this show is rated B and may be unsuitable for bastards. [more]

Author: Bad Boy
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: redbean new orleans stand up hilarious
Added: Mon, 25 Feb 2008

Dear Diablo Cody, I would like to thank you personally for your movie "Juno." Finally I can justify my V.I.P. lap dances at the many strip clubs across America as an investment and tax write off. I am sure I have invested in a movie or two.

Thanks Ex-ho! [more]

Author: Bad Boy
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: redbean new orleans stand up hillarious
Added: Sun, 24 Feb 2008

Aretha Franklin is upset with Beyonce for calling Tina Turner the queen. Shame on you Beyonce we all know that Aretha Franklin is the queen--the Dairy Queen! The Burger Queen!

"What you want? You know I got it! All I'm asking is for a little:

Chicken
Hamburger with cheese
Roast
Duck
Steak
Mustard Greens
Hamhocks (oops, I got my own)
Grits and eggs
Pecan pie
Sweet potatoe pie

When you come home. [more]

Author: Bad Boy
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: redbean comedy funny new orleans
Added: Mon, 18 Feb 2008

My friend, DeWitt, happily told me that presidential candidate Mitt Romney was a Mormon and that they believe in multiple wives. Wow! Yeah, there is nothing that I would rather hear than, "Not tonight, we have a headache; we need you to go to the store and get some pads--a lot of them; we need some more romance; we need to talk--all of us."

I mean, I could probably get away with one murder, but several is pushing it. [more]

Author: Bad Boy
Category: Political
Keywords: redbean comedy funny new orleans
Added: Tue, 5 Feb 2008

While this country embarks on a truly historic event as 24 states decide who will run for President, down in Louisiana, Nawlins to be more specific, it's Mardi Gras and some woman is showing her tits for a pair of, less than 25 cent, beads.

Home of the free! [more]

Author: Bad Boy
Category: Political
Keywords: redbean comedy funny new orleans
Added: Tue, 5 Feb 2008

Well, the country has adopted the name Brangelina to identify super couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, so I have come up with my own for super candidates, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton:

Obamary
Hillbama (a winner in the southern states)
Lilo and Bitch (just popped in my head)
Barackton (Sounds so L.A)
Hillaryrack (The Hooter's ticket)

Play along! [more]

Author: Bad Boy
Category: Political
Keywords: redbean comedy funny new orleans
Added: Mon, 4 Feb 2008

We all know that a temporary restraining order was issued that required the star wide receiver to stay at least 500 feet from Rachelle Washington who alleged he committed "battery causing serious injury" to her at her Florida home on Jan. 6.

Well, it seems that out of revenge, the woman hired the New York Giants to whip his ass and anyone associated with him. And apparently Rachelle was standing in the Patriots' end zone, because Randy apparently was still trying to honor his restraining order as he only entered the end zone once.

Congrats Eli (Nawlins own) and the Giants!!!

Much Love,
Bad Boy RedBean [more]

Author: Bad Boy
Category: News
Keywords: giants superbowl super bowl redbean comedy funny new orleans
Added: Mon, 4 Feb 2008

In a recent debate of Hillary and Obama, the candidates were both seen whispering in each other's ear. With microphones pulled, only professional lip readers could possibly come close to figuring out what they said. I am a professional lip reader (lower lips, but none the less a lip reader... yes I am black, but we have overcome) and here is what they said.

Hillary: I am going to kick your ass in Alabama!
Obama: Ummm, bitch are you crazy? I have Bama in my name and bama trumps colored!
Hillary: Damn! [more]

Author: Bad Boy
Category: Political
Keywords: redbean comedy funny new orleans
Added: Sun, 3 Feb 2008

Burger King Employee: "Welcome to Burger King, how can I help you?"

Me (customer:) "Yes, I would like to try your black angus burger."

Burger King Employee: "Ummm, I got to close tonight, but come by tomorrow--I get off at three, now what is your order?" [more]

Author: Bad Boy
Category: Weird
Keywords: redbean comedy funny new orleans
Added: Sat, 2 Feb 2008

Wow, this is my first Podcast. This is a very adult clip, the audience loved it, and I hope you love it as well! [more]

Author: Bad Boy
Category: MP3
Keywords: redbean comedy funny new orleans
Added: Sat, 2 Feb 2008

Lottery Winner's Sweet Wish..
Retired hospital porter Steve Smith, who is suffering from a potentially fatal heart defect, won almost $38 million on Britain's National Lottery -- but said he would give it all up if he could spend a few more years living with his wife Ida.

Wow, and most of us would be willing to pay $38 million to spend a few more years without our wives. [more]

Author: Bad Boy
Category: Weird
Keywords: redbean comedy funny new orleans
Added: Sat, 2 Feb 2008

Sure, Hillary may win the election, I mean world leaders consider that she has eight years of experience. My only question is, if she wins, I wonder what intern is going to get caught sucking her dick? [more]

Author: Bad Boy
Category: Political
Keywords: hillary joke clinton election february 2008 funny joke redbean
Added: Fri, 1 Feb 2008

Katt Williams was arrested yesterday (November 6) at the Los Angeles International Airport after officials found a weapon concealed in his carry-on luggage. According to reports from TMZ.com, Williams was arrested at 3p.m. in Terminal 5 after security officers discovered what one law enforcement source called a "cheap, Saturday night special." Police were called to the scene and Williams was arrested and booked on felony charges of carrying a concealed weapon along with other undisclosed offenses. Authorities allege that the concealed weapon had been stolen. Three additional weapons were packed in baggage that Williams had previously checked in. Sources also claim that Williams is wanted in Kalamazoo, MI on an outstanding warrant. When questioned he replied, "I'm a Pimp baby, ain't no box cutter ever beat a 38 special!" [more]

Author: Bad Boy
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Wed, 8 Nov 2006

A court spokeswoman says Britney Spears has filed for divorce from rapper/dancer Kevin Federline.  Can you actually believe that there are men out there that think they now have a shot at the new divorcee? I don't even think Kevin is gay. Oh well, happy hunting fellas. [more]

Author: Bad Boy
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: bad boy redbean new orleans comedy
Added: Tue, 7 Nov 2006

Ok, I know that you can really buy a detachable vagina from an adult store, but here is the problem and my story.First of all, its very strange to go into a store and ask somebody behind the counter, "Excuse me, where do you keep the vaginas?" Only to have them respond, "Isle 12," like it's nothing, like they do this all the time. Ooops, they do.Anyway, I am on isle 12 and there are tons of vaginas, just like they said. There are vaginas that vibrate, and I am thinking to myself, "A vibrating vagina? That could be interesting." They even have vaginas with pubic hair. Pubic hair? I'm not gonna be looking at it for its anatomical correctness. And wait, there was even a clitoris! Who is that for? I mean I don't ever remember telling a woman, "Ohhh baby, I want you to rub your clitoris all over my body." I mean, isn't that for the woman? I don't think I am going to try to go down on my detachable vagina, that would be sick.Well, I picked one out, brought it to the counter with a movie of course. I have to be motivated don't I? Ok, you have to know this, I bought my vagina while on the road, before my show, and I have to admit, I was a little excited. Throughout my show, all I could think about was how I was going to play with my vagina when I got home. Ok, the show is over and I have said my good-byes... "No, I can't stay any longer, I have to get home, its a long drive," I tell them. I get into my car, and there is my vagina waiting for me. I put my seat belt on, and put the seat belt on my vagina too. I can't get into a wreck and have my vagina thrown from the car. Anyway, I am driving along the highway, and I decide to open the box, to feel my vagina, because they wouldn't let me play with my vagina in the store. Well, there is the little security tape on the box, you know, so my vagani doesn't get tainted and I am pulling and tugging on it and unknowingly, my car is swerving in and out the lane with each tug. Damn! I see the red and blue lights come on so I quickly cover up my vagina and pull over."Sir," the officer states, "Have you been drinking tonight?""No Sir, I don't drink." I responded."Can you tell me then, why were you swerving?" He asked.Damn, I couldn't just tell him that I was trying to play with my vagina, so I tell him, "A mosquito was in the car and I was trying to kill it.""Step out of the car Sir." He responded.All I can hope for is that he doesn't want to search the car. "Sir, do you have anything in the car..." he asked."No!" I replied. And you could tell he knew I was nervous, because it was one of those "Yes, I'm lying no's."He goes to his car and brings out the fucking drug dog. I mean this dog is just sniffing and sniffing. Finally he gets to my vagina. Its tied up in a bag on the front seat, with the seat belt still strapped to it. The dog starts going crazy! "Sir, what's in the bag?" I reply, "Don't I have some type of privacy?""Sir, if you don't tell me what's in the bag, you're going to jail," he explains. "It's my vagina." I whisper."Excuse me?" he yells! "It's my vagina.""Sir, please step back." He opens the bag. "It is your vagina!?" he said, surprised. "I told you," I responded."Sir, please get into your vehicle and go home." I mean, if that's all I had to do to get out of a ticket, I would have pulled out my vagina when he walked up to the car!Anyway, I finally get home and I have to sneak my vagina into the house, I don't want my woman to see that I had to go out and buy some vagina. Well, she was sleep, so I loaded up my movie and started to play with my vagina. Let me tell you, in my hand, it felt great. It was soft, and kinda squishy; it came with a shaft with little ticklers in it--I was sooooo excited. I fast-forwarded to a lesbian scene and got my vagina wet. Here goes! It's too small! Damn! The little opening was too small, and I'm thinking did I get the white model? I'm looking at the box, trying to see if it came in sizes. Nope. So I wet my vagina some more and I lube my penis up a little more. That felt great, I think my hand was a little jealous and had something to prove, but I was like, "No no no Mrs. Hand, I got me some vagina tonight!" Still too tight. I had to stick some fingers into my vagina to kinda stretch it, then I had to hold my penis and guide it in. Now the tip is in and I have to twist my vagina onto my penis like it's some kind of screw. I guess that's where the term "screwing" came from, I don't know. This is too much work and the lesbian scene is almost over. Damn! Finally I got it working, but it hurts like a mutha! I can't stop, because I paid $29.00 for this vagina and I'll be damned if I'm not going to get my money's worth. I think my vagina is going to give me blue balls. That sucks. Well, I re-winded my lesbian scene and finally hit a groove in my vagina. "Ok," I'm thinking, "This can work." Its working! Its working! Its working! Damn, my hand starts to cramp up, because you have to grip the vagina a certain way, but I am tough, I can take a little hand cramp. And my hand is probably thinking this doesn't happen when you use me, she was right. Finally, I am finished. I go to my bathroom to wash off my vagina and I am looking at it and it's torn on both sides. I can't believe this shit, I broke my vagina. The first night with my vagina and its broken already. I had big plans for my vagina, I was even going to pass it down to my son, and he his son. It was going to be like a family vagina, a coochieloom so to speak, but not anymore, because now my vagina is broken. Now I have to take my vagina back to the store to get a refund. How do you tell someone that you want a refund for a broken vagina. Hmmm, "Uhhh, I bought this vagina from you guys yesterday and ummm now the vagina is broken. I think you sold me a defective vagina." I don't think that's going to work. I can't throw it away, what happens if I throw it away, and some dog kicks over the garbage and there laying on my lawn for all the neighbors and garbage men to see, is my vagina. I'll just stick my broken vagina in the attic, yeah, the attic.The world can be so cruel Much Love, Bad Boy RedBean [more]

Author: Bad Boy
Category: Blogs
Keywords: bad boy redbean new orleans comedy
Added: Tue, 7 Nov 2006