A Michigan man was sentenced to 18 to 30 months in prison after he became known for breaking into stores containing female-shaped mannequins.

No word yet on whether or not the mannequins will be allowed to his cell for conjugal visits.

Mozart, an iguana with an erection that has lasted over a week, will have one of his two penises amputated in the next couple of days.

There is no punchline for this one. It's just that I'm typing this story because I will never get the opportunity to say "An Iguana with a boner is going to have his penis amputated" again.

No matter who wins the upcoming Super Bowl matchup between the Indiannapolis Colts and Chicago Bears, an African American will be the winning coach.

This leaves Klan members extremely confused as to which team to root for.

Take that Republicans! I bet you guys didn't see that one coming!

A German man who wired up a high-voltage cable to try to wipe out the moles digging up his garden killed himself instead.

His friends and family are saddened by his passing, but are also happy that his lifetime dream of winning a Darwin award may finally be realized.

Two brothers in London were found guilty of unnecessary cruelty to an animal after overfeeding their pet Labrador dog to the point where it weighed more than 70 kilograms.

This is a travesty, and these two men need to think about all the starving dogs in Africa.

No one is sure of the cause just yet, but for some reason Dom DeLuise has issued a public apology.

Some doctors are against the decision, but the FDA's position remains firm.

In related news, hack jokes are said to have increased by 12.5%

According to a story from the associated press, researchers in Florida are discovering manatees are much more intelligent than one may think.

One piece of evidence they have is that since the year 2000, Florida's manatees have been actively voting on election day.