Oscar-winning actress Helen Mirren who played "The Queen" has revealed she was date-raped a couple times and did lots of cocaine when she was a student.
Variety reports that she has now surpassed Amy Winehouse as the front runner to play the lead in "Coke Whore". [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: coke whore
Added: Mon, 1 Sep 2008

An explosion at a fireworks plant killed 15 people and wounded six others in northern China, state media reported Sunday.
In hindsight, this is where the fake Olympics fireworks display would have paid off. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: News
Keywords: china cheaters
Added: Mon, 1 Sep 2008

Michael Jackson celebrated his 50th birthday Friday.
In related news, his nose turns 25. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: jackson
Added: Sat, 30 Aug 2008

David Duchovny has entered a rehabilitation facility for sex addiction.
The truth is out there and he has repeatedly banged it. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: x files
Added: Fri, 29 Aug 2008

New satellite measurements show that crucial sea ice in the Arctic Ocean has plummeted to its second-lowest level on record.
The lowest level was recorded last year during a visit by Rosie O'Donnell. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: News
Keywords: rosie
Added: Wed, 27 Aug 2008

Lesbian activist Del Martin, at the forefront of the battle for
same-sex marriage in California, died Wednesday in San Francisco. She
was 87.
Although the cause of death was not listed, her surviving partner said that she had a severe licker problem and even though they were legally married, she still won't receive dick. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: News
Keywords: lesbian
Added: Wed, 27 Aug 2008

Dave Freeman, co-author of "100 Things to Do Before You Die," has
died. He was just 47.
Apparently, not included in the book was to celebrate his 48th birthday. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: News
Keywords: death
Added: Wed, 27 Aug 2008

A Georgia man is accused of holding his wife and children captive in a trash-filled mobile home for three years.

If convicted, the entire South may be arrested. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: News
Keywords: south trailer
Added: Thu, 14 Aug 2008

An Indiana woman recognized as the world's tallest female has died.

She will be buried Sunday in Indiana and Ohio. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: Weird
Keywords: tall woman
Added: Wed, 13 Aug 2008

Lin Miaoke, who performed "Ode to the Motherland" which captivated millions of viewers during the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics was lip-syncing to the sound of another girl, 7-year-old Yang Peiyi, who was heard but not seen, apparently because she was deemed not cute enough.

If only Amy Winehouse was chinese. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: News
Keywords: ugly chinese girl
Added: Tue, 12 Aug 2008

As horrified travelers watched, a Greyhound Canada bus passenger repeatedly stabbed and then decapitated a young man who was sitting and sleeping beside him.

And I thought my girlfriend was intolerant of my snoring. Off to the florist for me. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: News
Keywords: behead
Added: Thu, 31 Jul 2008

A biopsy on a patch of skin removed from John McCain's temple Monday shows no evidence the Arizona senator has skin cancer.

It was determined that it was just scar tissue from a wound he received as a child from his pet terradactyl. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: News
Keywords: old
Added: Tue, 29 Jul 2008

Three militants awaiting execution for the 2002 Bali bombings plan to challenge the legality of death by firing squad because they would prefer to be beheaded due to it supposedly being less painful.

Easy fix, just blow their militant heads off with a shotgun. Everybody wins! [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: News
Keywords: behead
Added: Tue, 29 Jul 2008

President Bush has approved the Army's request to execute a soldier convicted of rape and murder. Pvt. Ronald Gray has been on the military's death row at Fort Leavenworth, Kansas, since 1988.

He will be forced to drive a U.S. Army Humvee down an Iraqi highway. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: News
Keywords: execute
Added: Mon, 28 Jul 2008

Singer Amy Winehouse was rushed to a London hospital Monday night.

Apparently she walked naked past a mirror and saw her penis. [more]

Author: Wild Willy Parsons
Category: News
Keywords: ugly wench
Added: Mon, 28 Jul 2008