Beth Schumann Joke Feed powered by DailyComedy.com http://www.dailycomedy.com/u/BethSchumann http://www.dailycomedy.com/images/users/m/bethschumann.jpg Beth Schumann http://www.DailyComedy.com/u/BethSchumann The latest jokes from Beth Schumann courtesy of DailyComedy.com Beth Schumann <![CDATA[How I Spent My Summer Vacation]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13501 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13501/#comment Weird

I went to a nudist beach in Atlantic City and ended up with hermit crabs.  [more]


Author: Beth Schumann
Category: Weird
Keywords: nudist atlantic city vacation crabs beach
Added: Mon, 18 Aug 2008

]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13501 Mon, 18 Aug 2008 22:52:15 -0700 nudist,atlantic city,vacation,crabs,beach Beth Schumann Beth Schumann <![CDATA[Olé Molé]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13482 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13482/#comment Sports

VILLANUEVA DE LA CONCEPCION, Spain - A 65-year-old retired bullfighter
who had knee replacement and quadruple bypass surgery strutted back
into the ring Sunday and won two trophies — the ears of the beast he
had just slain.
 The 75-year-old bull had had knee and hip replacement and double quintuple bypass surgery. [more]


Author: Beth Schumann
Category: Sports
Keywords: bullfight matador old bypass spain british
Added: Sun, 17 Aug 2008

]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13482 Sun, 17 Aug 2008 14:50:31 -0700 bullfight,matador,old,bypass,spain,british Beth Schumann Beth Schumann <![CDATA[The problem with having the Olympics in China. . .]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13481 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13481/#comment Sports

An hour later I want to watch more Olympics.  [more]


Author: Beth Schumann
Category: Sports
Keywords: olympics china
Added: Sun, 17 Aug 2008

]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13481 Sun, 17 Aug 2008 14:31:20 -0700 olympics,china Beth Schumann Beth Schumann <![CDATA[It's a Whopper!]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13280 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13280/#comment Weird

Ever since he entered prison, Harv's fishing stories seem much more plausible. [more]


Author: Beth Schumann
Category: Weird
Keywords: fish
Added: Mon, 4 Aug 2008

]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13280 Mon, 4 Aug 2008 22:40:02 -0700 fish Beth Schumann Beth Schumann <![CDATA[Ohio Inmate says, "I'm too fat for execution"]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13279 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13279/#comment News

This is his second attempt to stave off the executioner, after having earlier said, "I'm too sexy for the chair." [more]


Author: Beth Schumann
Category: News
Keywords: death penalty fat sexy
Added: Mon, 4 Aug 2008

]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13279 Mon, 4 Aug 2008 21:11:24 -0700 death penalty,fat,sexy Beth Schumann Beth Schumann <![CDATA[What does this say about America?]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13191 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13191/#comment Political

Today I had to break up a fight between two UPS drivers.

More senseless Brown on Brown violence. [more]


Author: Beth Schumann
Category: Political
Keywords: ups violence race
Added: Fri, 25 Jul 2008

]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/13191 Fri, 25 Jul 2008 00:20:13 -0700 UPS,violence,race Beth Schumann Beth Schumann <![CDATA[Muslims now outnumber Catholics says Vatican]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11975 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11975/#comment News

More pork and whiskey for the rest of us? [more]


Author: Beth Schumann
Category: News
Keywords: islam catholic pork whiskey
Added: Sun, 30 Mar 2008

]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11975 Sun, 30 Mar 2008 14:21:16 -0700 islam,catholic,pork,whiskey Beth Schumann Beth Schumann <![CDATA[Facebook gets entangled in Middle East conflict]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11852 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11852/#comment News

The trouble started when Israel's Level 4 Bishop in the Church of Zombie launched 3 attacks against Palestine's Savage Werewolf, winning two to put some serious smackdown on Palestine. Palestine retaliated by feeding Israel to Syria's Sinister Vampire, and the fight escalated from there. [more]


Author: Beth Schumann
Category: News
Keywords: facebook israel palestine vampire zombie werewolf
Added: Mon, 17 Mar 2008

]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11852 Mon, 17 Mar 2008 15:47:27 -0700 facebook,israel,palestine,vampire,zombie,werewolf Beth Schumann Beth Schumann <![CDATA[Hospital workers fired for snooping on Britney]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11819 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11819/#comment Entertainment

UCLA Medical Center will fire some employees and discipline others for snooping at the confidential medical records of Britney Spears, who was hospitalized in its psychiatric ward.

What did they expect to find that hasn't already been plastered all over the tabloids? I've already seen her va-jay-jay, I'm not interested in her immunization records. [more]


Author: Beth Schumann
Category: Entertainment
Keywords: britney spears hospital
Added: Sat, 15 Mar 2008

]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11819 Sat, 15 Mar 2008 03:15:00 -0700 britney,spears,hospital Beth Schumann Beth Schumann <![CDATA[Why do I have to wear a padded bra?]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11804 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11804/#comment Weird

Why don't you just wear oven mitts? [more]


Author: Beth Schumann
Category: Weird
Keywords: bra
Added: Fri, 14 Mar 2008

]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11804 Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:00:00 -0700 bra Beth Schumann Beth Schumann <![CDATA[My friend's boobs are so big. . .]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11812 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11812/#comment Weird

She calls the one on the left Minneapolis, and the one on the right St. Paul. [more]


Author: Beth Schumann
Category: Weird
Keywords: boobs
Added: Fri, 14 Mar 2008

]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11812 Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:52:24 -0700 boobs Beth Schumann Beth Schumann <![CDATA[Saudis pay to separate conjoined Iraqi twins]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11811 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11811/#comment News

Where once there was only one potential suicide bomber, now there are two. [more]


Author: Beth Schumann
Category: News
Keywords: iraq terrorist suicide bomber arab
Added: Fri, 14 Mar 2008

]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11811 Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:23:29 -0700 iraq,terrorist,suicide bomber,arab Beth Schumann Beth Schumann <![CDATA[Probe finds pharmaceuticals in drinking water]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11720 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11720/#comment News

So that's why I have diarrhea, constipation and a raging hard on. [more]


Author: Beth Schumann
Category: News
Keywords: drugs side effects viagra boner
Added: Mon, 10 Mar 2008

]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11720 Mon, 10 Mar 2008 15:27:07 -0700 drugs,side effects,viagra,boner Beth Schumann Beth Schumann <![CDATA[What is the plural of uterus?]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11718 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11718/#comment Weird

Coven. [more]


Author: Beth Schumann
Category: Weird
Keywords: coven uterus women
Added: Mon, 10 Mar 2008

]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11718 Mon, 10 Mar 2008 13:54:47 -0700 coven,uterus,women Beth Schumann Beth Schumann <![CDATA[Super Fat]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11252 http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11252/#comment Political

"Super Tuesday," the day 24 states hold presidential primary elections, is also "Fat Tuesday" or Mardi Gras.

We'll let you vote if you show us your tits. [more]


Author: Beth Schumann
Category: Political
Keywords: mardi gras super tuesday fat tuesday election president primary tits
Added: Fri, 1 Feb 2008

]]> http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/11252 Fri, 1 Feb 2008 15:17:45 -0700 mardi gras,super Tuesday,Fat Tuesday,election,president,primary,tits Beth Schumann