"Sorry… I meant to hit the kid."

A group of Iowa students want legislators to crack down on underage drinking by placing a tracking number on every keg of beer sold in the state.

About 100 high school students from all around the state lobbied for the keg tags.

Among the many changes instituted by the new Democrat majority in Congress is how they refer to new Senators.  Party leaders say they will no longer use the "derogatory" term "freshman" to describe first-term Senators.

California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger visits with the state's citrus growers to inspect crop damage and demonstrate his sexual harassment techniques.

The makers of Dove Soap have announced a contest in which users are asked to create and submit ads for the new Dove Cream Oil Body Wash due to hit stores next month.

Winners will have their commercials shown during the Academy Awards.  Winners will also be expected to do the taxes and pay for groceries for the company's marketing employees.

Unilever takes top position in soap market when they realize bigger people use more soap

It was announced today that Al Gore's film, An Inconvenient Truth, will be shown in all secondary schools in Scotland.

Officials say they hope to educate Scottish students that American politicians can be just as pompous and long-winded as their British counterparts.

Croatian and Serbian spectators kicked each other and used flag poles as weapons as a fight broke out at the Australian Open tennis championship.

Stadium security guards moonlighting as UN officials were unable to maintain order and the Australian police were called in.