Weird Jokes

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alternative fuel

By: bix brillo (C)
Submitted: May 9, 2008
Staff Pick!

...when my car ran out of gas in a drug-infested ghetto i had to do some quick thinking....so i hired 4 cranksters to push my car home...cheaper than gas....i call it Methanol.

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pure chemistry

By: bix brillo (C)
Submitted: May 7, 2008
Staff Pick!

...my latest romantic partner & i are really hitting it off...its pure chemistry...she's a perfect combination of vinyl, rubber, and plastic...

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inbreeding

By: bix brillo (C)
Submitted: May 7, 2008

...at some point in time i believe there was a little "inbreeding" in my family...i was moved by brad pitt's geneology....he found out that he is barack obama's 9th cousin...and angelina jolie is 9th cousin to hillary clinton...i traced my family history and found out that i am my own 9th cousin.

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Judge: Defendant too Fat to Flee

By: Greg Banks (C)
Submitted: May 2, 2008

A 500-lb shopkeeper was released without bail after being arraigned in the courthouse parking lot. The 500-lb man is accused of selling knockoff Gibson Les Paul guitars.

The judge said it was the classic case of too fat to walk, too fat to fly.

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No sh*t???

By: Keith Alberstadt (C)
Submitted: May 1, 2008

A pile of 130-million-year-old fossilized dinosaur dung sold at auction for $960 . . .

Turns out, when the buyer's wife asked him to go buy a piece of crap, she actually meant a Sprint phone.

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Women are dying.

By: Jay LaFarr (C)
Submitted: Apr 24, 2008
Staff Pick!

WASHINGTON (AFP) - Life expectancy has declined for many women in the United States, largely due to smoking-related diseases and obesity, a study published Tuesday showed.
In an other study done by the Institute of the Clearly Obvious, Handguns were found to kill more people when loaded with bullets instead of jelly beans.

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Father please forgive me

By: Jay LaFarr (C)
Submitted: Apr 24, 2008
Staff Pick!

SAO PAULO, Brazil -- Hopes dimmed Wednesday for a priest who vanished after sailing into the air, carried off by hundreds of colorful helium-filled party balloons.
Some people will do anything to escape sex offender charges.

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A little taxing

By: Jay LaFarr (C)
Submitted: Apr 19, 2008

I tried to write off a penis pump on my taxes this year as a business expense, but couldn't find the receipt. I had to file an extension

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living in cars

By: bix brillo (C)
Submitted: Apr 18, 2008
Staff Pick!

...a guy at the end of my street sleeps in his car...he bought a lottery ticket and won $100,000...he still sleeps in his car, only now it has heated leather seats.

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