And Larry King was named "sexiest man not alive."

Michael Jackson's sister La Toya has created a milkshake in honor of her late brother for a local shop in L.A. The shake starts out chocolate, gets nutty then turns vanilla. 

www.jerrywolski.com

 According to The National Education Forum, 90 out of 100 teachers believe that fraction reduction is a critical math skill.

...British singer Susan Boyle claims she was bullied and beaten as a child.  And she still has the ugly stick to prove it.   

Oprah has announced today that her show will be ending in September of 2011…or 15 months earlier than the Mayans predicted.

Oprah Winfrey will be ending her show in 2011.Which means she's moving into the 10 PM slot. 

There is a severe shortage of Eggo Waffles,due to excesive rain and listeria bacteria.Although,I suppose you could close your eyes and munch on some Legos.

What have we done to our kids tho seriously?, things were alot different when i was growing up, Fast food is now healthy, video games now have fucken fitness programmes, have you seen that shit. Wii Fit.got this fucken board that you stand on and it tells you how fat you are...wow, thanks...im glad i bought this game.

Seriously dont buy this game for your girlfriends if you EVER want to get laid again. Here you go honey its fun,stand on this..calculating body mass....Oh wow you got.... the high... score...yaaaaaaaay :s ..the couch?....ok :(. 

 NEW MOON? Vampires? Werewolves? lol! Give me a break! I saw the first Twilight movie and it was one of the gayest, most stupid movies I've ever seen. What ever happened to the old vampires... Big, Mean, Scary? The ones now look like anorexic Backstreet Boys! The Count from Sesame Street would have been scarier!..lol "One, one sissy little werewolf...Two, two sissy little werewolves...THREE, THREE SISSY LITTLE WEREWOLVES! AH! AH! AH! AH! AHhhh!"

I went into Mc donalds the other day  and theve got all this mc cafe shit, mc cafe le cafe

im like, really? thats what kids want now?  A fucken fritatta and a latte?

I guess its all just money at the end of the day tho, but i mean couldnt you come up with something better then a fucken cafe? seriously? you are a multi billion dollar company and your idea is to put another food outlet...in your..... food.... outlet? wtf

Personally my idea.....Mcwhore house..im serious,it would work, just dont get confused about where you are,thats all im saying... walk up to the madaam and order a quater pounder with cheese, cause ull end uop with an anorexic chick with thrush sitting on ya face 

I know what you are thinking ... Youre thinking great another comic who thinks they're Clairvoyant!