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Joke

ric landers
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From the News

By: ric landers (M)
Submitted: Sep 7, 2007
Category: Blogs  
From Hot Topic

Bo Obama

23 Jokes

Bin Laden is coming out with another video. They say in this one he's
complaining about all the spam he keeps getting and asks when are the
authorities going to find the people who keep sending it.

Police say a cleaning solvent sparked a scare at the U. N. today.
Apparently, bottles of Comet were mislabeled and put in the dining
hall. No one noticed this even though people were walking out of the
cafeteria with green foam on their mouths. Said one witness, "People
always walk out with green foam on their mouths."

Fred Thompson finally announced his candidacy for President yesterday.
In his speech he said, "I can stop Hillary Clinton." The problem, of
course, is that he can't stop Obama.

Time magazine came out with a study comparing the intelligence of
chimps to 2 year old babies. The babies won hands down. But in a
follow-up study comparing chimps to mothers, the chimps won hands
down.

CNNMoney is reporting that Apple is giving early IPhone buyers $100
store credit to offset the $200 recent price drop of the IPhone. Asked
why they're not giving early buyers $200 store credit, Apple replied,
we'll be doing that next week after the $300 price drop.

Ticker: Bush: "We're kicking ass in Iraq."
Translation: "We've re-opened Abu Gharib prison."

You hear this one: A phony motorcade got next to Bush's motorcade
today. Apparently, the pranksters were shooting a video. Word is,
Bush thought it was an assassination attempt and reminded the CIA
agents that if he's shot they should immediately kill Dick Cheney.

And this just in: another grisly find after police talk to a serial
killer. This one was Leona Helmsley's dog. Apparently, it choked and
died from tainted dog food from china. When the police asked the
caretaker why she was feeding him dog food from China, she reportedly
said, "We feed him the same we fed Ms Helmsley ."

Also, local scientists have finally unearth a clue to the vanishing
bees you've been reading about. They weren't missing at all. They
were out chasing another group of scientists.

And how about that mower man riding his mower across the U.S.? Bet
that will be the last time his wife tells him to mow the lawn, huh?

And this just in: another pit bull attack, this time a woman carrying
a baby. According to police, the mother said she wanted to be on the
cover of the newspaper and thought biting the dog was the best way to
do it.

This just in: Encephalitis kills third swimmer. Encephalitis says he
only feels the urge to kill whenthe other kids at his camp
mispronounce his name.

Also, an admitted pedophile moves to Oregon. When asked why, he
replied, "I figured since this is where Microsoft started, they'd be
more hotspots here.

ricland

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Robert Bork
Robert Bork
Dec 30, 2008
Just shut up, or write a book ... to yourself.
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