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This past weekend, the movie "300" grossed lots of money and has gone on to be the first movie in history where everyone in the entire film has abs. Even the monster had abs. Several historians have gone on record saying that not all Spartans had abs back in the day. In fact, there once was a fat Spartan named Spiros , who refused to ever do a sit-up, and had to have a special "Gut-plate" made of bronze to protect his stomach in battle. He killed many Greeks, and a few Trojans, but, alas, choked on an olive pit one night at a feast, and his fat ass was sent out to sea on a burning raft like a viking funeral without the viking. Hollywood is now developing a film about Spiros, based on the graphic novel "Two Eggs Over, Whole Wheat Toast".
In it, Spiros time travels from ancient Sparta to modern day Newark, and opens Olympia Diner. All is going great until a couple of naked Greeks show up and start trouble. It eventually gets resolved after a heavy bout of anal sex with a guy named Zorba on a huge block of feta cheese. Tom Cruise is attached to play Spiros and Hugh Grant to play the block of cheese.
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