According to the managers of  the Chicago House of Blues, attractive down syndrome victim, Kevin Federline took a Sharpie marker and wrote the following message on a dressing room mirror "Today I'm a free man. Ladies look out. Fuck a wife. Give me my kids bitch." - K.Federline. With writing skills like this it makes you wonder why his album sales have done so poorly. Being out sold by such discs like Mike Tyson's "Songs to Rape To" and Stephen Hawking's single "The Twelve Days of Christmas".

It has been reported that after the discovery of K-Fed's (I feel dirty just from typing that) deep message, he has been tapped to replace Daniel McGoarty as President Bush's head speech writer.